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THE BULL AND THE BIZARRE
Tricky Dick is Alive and Well
It's not his birthday but I'm sending him a gift.

by Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore
July 4, 2004

The bull has come to the heartland this past Friday. I am thrilled that the 2004 version of Tricky Dick was here, if for no other reason than he wasn’t in Washington encouraging and promoting the taking away of my freedoms or inflating his own ego or practicing his use of foreign languages. The only freedom that was taken away with Cheney in town was my freedom to drive up the interstate at the same time that the entourage was using the interstate. 
 
There was not a personal interview in the paper and I was not interviewed on the radio as was the case the last time he was in town. You see, the last time VPTDIAHC (Vice president Tricky Dick “I AM Halliburton” Cheney) was in the area, I was running for the US Senate against his chosen one.  (Both the chosen one and I were defeated two weeks later.) That’s OK. I don’t mind sitting in my office about 20 minutes away from the craziness, writing to you.  Actually, I prefer being here with you. 
 
Let me tell you why I hold Cheney is such low regard.  I don’t trust him.  He is arrogant and every time that I have seen him, in person and via the media, he has appeared impressed with no one other than himself.  Mr. Moo is not impressed. I’m sure the feeling would be mutual if he met me. A good example of the uppity attitude was a “conversation” he reportedly had with Senator Leahy (D-VT) last Thursday under the Senate dome. After Leahy had asked him about some issues in regard to his ongoing relationship with Halliburton, Cheney reported told Leahy “go f… yourself”. Assuming that Sen. Leahy is not asexual, we must assume Cheney didn’t mean this literally. I may be a prude, but if anyone uses that type of language around me, I will call them on it or wash their mouth out with soap or both. Some may say I’m limiting his freedom but I believe his freedom ends where my nose (or ears) begins. Try that language with me, Vice President or not, and you can pick your flavor of soap. I’ll be ready.
 
I see him as a master of spin. Take a look at his response to the 9/11 commission report. The commission determined there was no connection between Iraq-al Qaeda when it came to 9/11. But here comes the spin as Cheney resorted to advancing the theory that Iraq was involved in 9/11. In an interview with CNBC last week, he said, "Was Iraq involved with al Qaeda in the attack on 9/11? We don't know." Cheney has repeatedly made this kind of statement before, even though the president himself admits there is "no evidence that Saddam Hussein was involved with September the 11th."  I guess he wasn’t raised with teachings of when you make a mistake, suck it up and admit you were wrong.    
 
Another issue that deeply bothers me is the secrets that go on in government meetings that should be open to scrutiny. Recently, the Supreme Court handed down a decision keeping records from Cheney's energy task force secret for the time being. I guess that Cheney’s work in the 1970’s as a Justice Department official paid off. During that time, he worked hard to limit the Freedom of Information Act. Who would have thought 30 years later, it would have paid off big time? Obviously, Cheney figured it would come in handy. Sad part about this is that the “Patriot Act” (talk about a bill that was misnamed) makes all my private dealings public to him but I can’t find out what happens in his meetings that affect my pocketbook. 
 
All of this comes from the man who said during the 2000 presidential campaign, I want "to change the tone in Washington, to restore a spirit of civility and respect and cooperation." He probably should have said, “I want to change the tone in Washington, to restore a spirit of civility and respect and cooperation, as long as it benefits me. As for the rest of the world, go f… yourself.” Oh, sorry.
 
If I was a Republican, this guy would make me want to switch parties or at least figure out a way to split my ticket in November. But since I am a recovering republican and I can’t split my ticket, I’ll look elsewhere for a presidential looking and acting candidate to vote for this fall. In the meantime, I’m going to send the VP two items. A copy of the constitution of the United States and a bar of soap. Obviously, he is not familiar with the first and could use the second.



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