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THE BULL AND THE BIZARRE
WWJD? What Would Jimmy Do?
He'd kill a man who looked at him with romantic intentions.

by Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore
September 26, 2004

It’s tough being a logical, level headed follower of Jesus Christ nowadays. It really is. I have people asking me do I believe like Jerry Falwell. Do I believe, like Pat Robertson, that the attacks on September 11 were a punishment from God? Would I kill a man who flirted with me, like Jimmy Swaggart? 
 
Actually, I thought we were done with Swaggart. I really did. His tearful confession before the world in February 1988 should have sealed his public fate. But there are some folks so spiritually blind that they would follow the televangelist straight to hell. I am not one of them. 
 
Last week, Swaggart announced to his congregation that he would "kill" a man that looked at him with romantic intent. (I guess lust only goes one way, eh Jimmy?) A number of web sites have Swaggart's exact words so I’ll add the Partial Observer to the growing list.  
 
"I've never seen a man in my life I wanted to marry." (shouts, applause) "And I'm gonna be blunt and plain, if one ever looks at me like that I'm going to kill him and tell God he died." (laughter, applause) "In case anybody doesn't know God calls it an abomination. It's an abomination! It's an abomination!" (applause)
 
Now I have heard all of the excuses for his comments. No matter how many excuses I hear, words mean something and I ain’t buyin’ any excuses from this guy. 

Let’s analyze what Jimmy said.
 
"I've never seen a man in my life I wanted to marry."
Neither have I, Jimmy. But I can’t imagine that is anybody’s business anyway. 
 
"And I'm gonna be blunt and plain," 
That is a good thing when it comes to being clear. I have been both blunt and plain at times too. 
 
"if one (gay man) ever looks at me like that (romantically) …" 
Hmmm. Jimmy, how would you know when that was happening? And I don’t see any websites popping up like www.gayguyswantingswaggert.org(asm)” Not sure I would want to be around anyone desiring to be that close to Jimmy, male or female.
 
"… I'm going to kill him …" 
Hello? Perhaps Brother Swaggert, you have forgotten Exodus chapter 20, verse 13. “Thou shalt not kill.” 
 
"and tell God he died." 
And verse 16. “Thou shalt not bear false witness.” That’s lying for those not familiar with the ol’ King James Version. No, the two James (the King and the preacher) are not connected. 
 
(laughter, applause) 
This response by the “congregation” after being told of first degree murder and lying to the Almighty by the preacherman, sickens me. 
 
*****
 
I can see the story line now.
 
God: Jimmy, where is Brother Jones? You know, the child of mine who is gay.”
 
JS: “The queer guy? Well, God, am I my fag brothers keeper?” 
 
God: Jimmy, I went through this with Cain and his brother Abel long ago. I seem to remember you trying to preach on that passage a time or two. Now, where is Brother Jones.”
 
JS: “Alright God, you’re a pretty sharp cookie. Brother Jones is dead.”

God: “And how did he die, Jimmy?”
 
JS: “Well, God, he looked at me with lust in his heart. And God, you know I know something about that. And I just couldn’t take it. So I killed him.” 
God: “When did I die and leave you in charge, Jimmy?” 
 
*****

A few days later, Swaggart tried to offer an apology. He said: "I was unwise in making the statement. All of us have made statements we wish we hadn't made. That was one for me." There is not one shred of evidence in that lame apology he believes that anything he said was wrong. 
 
Was he unwise in making that statement? Absolutely. Was he wrong in making that statement? Absolutely. He never has and probably never will admit that his thoughts about killing someone for any reason were wrong. Forget that some have claimed on his behalf, it was hyperbole. Forget that some have tried to say, it was just an expression that is commonly used. Swaggart didn’t offer those lame excuses and neither should anyone else.
 
As I said earlier, it’s tough being a logical, level headed follower of Jesus Christ nowadays.  Especially when people like Swaggart are out there spewing bull throughout the whole land.


About the Author:
Mr. Moo hopes the day will come in his lifetime when he will be judged on what he believes and not on what these folks, who are nothing more than bad commercials for God, spew.


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