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DEAR JON LETTERS
Flee to Canada
Sort 285 deals with more election fall-out.

by Dear Jon
November 16, 2004

ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON:

Dear Jon,

A bunch of liberals are talking about moving to Canada to avoid four more years of Bush. Why do they think the Canadians would want Americans moving up there - even liberal ones?

Sincerely,
Former Canadian Resident
 
Dear Canadian,
 
There are four species of American liberal. In my estimation, Canadians would rather that all four of these species of American liberals stay in the USA.
 
The first species of American liberal finds natural camouflage in the environment of “moderates.” These are the Democrats that are unionized workers. Many of them have served in the military and their offspring are currently serving. They are gun-owners. They consider themselves patriotic, and couch their number one issue, job-security through protectionist trade barriers, in terms of “America First” and “American jobs for American workers.”
 
The moderates closely related to this strain will normally vote Democrat, but they were carried away by the Reagan Revolution, and they voted George W. Bush back into power as a war-time President.  The true liberals among the unionized workers voted for Mondale, Dukakis, Clinton, Gore, and Kerry.  If pushed on the liberal social agenda, the true liberal will admit to believing that a pregnant woman can choose an abortion, and that a same-sex couple is entitled to some sort of legal protection so long as they demonstrate commitment. These rights are no skin off the nose of the liberal unionized worker: just don’t take away the guns, and don’t scrape and grovel before the environmentalist wackos whose tree-hugging policies take jobs away.
 
Canadians do not want liberal unionized workers abandoning Michigan for Ontario, because they will take jobs away from Canadians.
 
The second species of American liberal is the minority voter. They see the Democrats of the last 40 years or so as the party of affirmative action and “social justice.” For many, particularly African American liberals, the Democrats are the “lesser of two evils.” Non-liberal minorities are given to paying attention to the voting guidelines of Catholic bishops, or to vote along the lines of what they believe to be patriotic and family-oriented. However, for true minority liberals the number one issue is affirmative action, and they force themselves to accept the less-savory components of the liberal agenda, such as unrestricted abortion rights and gay unions, through the lens of “social justice.”
 
As in the United States, people of color who migrate to Canada will find the reception less than enthusiastic. Canadians like to pretend this is not so. It is so. I know. I too am a former Canadian resident of Anglo background. I have heard how children mirror their parents on the playgrounds and in the classrooms. I watched law enforcement and criminal court in action in that prairie city where the most significant minority population came from the indigenous nations. If some Canadian reader out there wants to make something of it, you go ahead and take me on. You will lose.
 
The third species of American liberal belongs to the Boston-New York-University Faculty Lounge  nexus of smug elitism for which no further explanation is necessary. This group also overlaps with the national boards of many mainline Protestant denominations. Although this group is national in scope, their short-hand label is “East Coast liberal,” a group dominated by wealthy white people, some of whom chose to reside in Canada during the Vietnam War.
 
It is their attitude of “we know what is best for you” that irks Canadians the most. These East Coast liberals should stick to tourism. Canadians love how these liberals are only too happy to agree with their tour guides that Canada kicked America’s butt in the War of 1812, and Canadians like the money these liberals spend. But do not try to move in and fix Canada like you could not fix the United States.
 
The fourth species is the environmentalist tree-hugging Green Peace PETA vegan Woodstock Nation wacko. This species is as marginalized in Canada as in the USA.

 
ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON:

Dear Jon,

I find both those who are whining, and those who are gloating, over the Presidential election to be equally obnoxious. I'm almost ashamed to be an American because of them. Is there a way to be polite towards them?

Sincerely,

Out of Patience
 
Dear Out,
 
Your best bet is to move to Canada. If that is not an option for you, find out why people are whining or gloating and then, in a calm voice, point out the obvious:
 
Are you whining because people who voted for Bush are stupid and paranoid?
People vote according to what they perceive is in their best interests.  You might think that 58 million voters are stupid and paranoid over terrorism, sovereignty, unrestricted abortion, and gay marriage, but most of what I have heard from Republican voters is nuanced and complex.
 
Are you gloating that the Republicans have a mandate to govern?
John Kerry got more votes than what Bush obtained for his first term. The mandate achieved by the Republicans would appear to be: continue escalating the deficit, continue to stretch the commitments of our armed forces, continue to abridge constitutional protections through Patriot Act measures.
 
Are you gloating that the Family Life agenda has won in this election?
The equivocating stance of the President concerning pro-life appointments to the judiciary is a matter of record from the third debate. The equivocating stance of the Republican Party concerning gay unions is a matter of record from their convention.
 
Are you whining that the Democrats don’t know how to get behind a winner?
Hey, whine away, because you are absolutely right. Clinton’s political strategists maneuvered him into the center. Veering back to the left is not a winning strategy: this was proven by McGovern, Mondale, and Dukakis, and it was proven again by Kerry. Gore won the popular vote: a southern Democrat. His mistake was to invest in Florida instead winning his own state of Tennessee. Carter and Clinton presented themselves as centrist Democrats from the south. Not a single southern state went Kerry's way.


About the Author:
Despite 12 years in Canada (long after the Vietnam era) Dear Jon never played a single period of hockey.


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