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THE BULL AND THE BIZARRE
Changing Political Persuasions
Am I changing or are the definitions?

by Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore
April 10, 2005

Some used to say I am a conservative. I understand that since most clergy registered Republicans fall in the category. Maybe that is one reason I changed my registration. Sometimes, since I didn't wrap myself in the Christian or American flag, I have been called liberal. In my life, I have run for public office one time, as a Libertarian. But now I am really confused. Yes, I have changed over the last few years. But I think that the descriptors have changed more than my views.

A favorite author of mine, Anonymous, has been credited for this definition found on the Internet. I will give her/him all the credit/blame for its accuracy. My thoughts are in parenthesis.

  • I am a conservative. I believe in staying solvent and out of debt. (Isn't a balanced budget is a good thing for a family and a state and a country?)
     
  • I am a conservative. I believe in keeping my nose out of other people's business, their nations and their bedrooms. (Now, when I claim that I am going to be told that I support personal use of drugs, and that human rights violations are ok, and that I will allow anyone to sleep with anyone or any critter and call it natural and acceptable.)  
     
  • I am a conservative. I believe in conserving our assets and our resources -- our air, our land, our water. (Did someone just call me a tree hugger?)  Accordingly, I don't support or engage in wastefulness, inefficiency or lavish excesses.
     
  • I am a conservative. I think an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
     
  • Therefore I support appropriate government spending on such things as infrastructure, schools, social welfare and crime prevention, because in the long run it's cheaper and more effective. (What part of cheaper and more effective do you not like?)
     
  • I am a conservative. I don't sign on to risky schemes. I think if you give Bob a dollar, it helps Bob, but it may not necessarily help Oscar, Fred or Maria. (Life isn't fair, get used to it! It's not the job of government to make things fair as you see it. It is to see that you have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But not necessarily everything you want in life will come from Uncle Sam.)
     
  • I am a conservative. If I am attacked, I respond appropriately and conservatively. I do not swat mosquitoes with dynamite. (Iraq, enough said.)
     
  • I am a conservative. I don't deal falsely or prematurely with facts. (In other words, spin is not necessary when you tell the truth. Unless you are trying to lie your way into office.)
     
  • I am a conservative. I understand the purposes of various institutions. It is the job of government to govern, the job of religion to address spiritual needs, and the job of business to secure profits by producing needed goods and services. I do not confuse these institutions. (Yes, faith based initiates as presented are not in the institutions' best interest. It's like letting the camel poking it's nose under the tent. Soon and very soon the beast will want to sleep inside.)
     
  • I am a conservative. I understand my position in the world and that my opinions are not the only valid ones. (This world is not Moo's way or the highway. Most of all, I know that.)
     
  • I do not have an exclusive claim on what is right, good or patriotic, and those who disagree with me are not automatically evil traitors. (Agreeing blindly with an administration at any level is not loyalty but stupidity.)

What's really weird, though, is that I've always thought these things, but now everyone calls me a "liberal"!

** Back to me **

It's not ok for you to push your heathen agenda but let me in with my partial, half baked and minimally accurate translation of the gospel and you better not say a thing. Otherwise, I'll cry that you are anti-religion.

Whatever the label, understand that the country is not just some red and some blue. It is mostly purple, like the bruises I will incur from those on the other side. My question is, are you the other side or am I? 



About the Author:
Mr. Moo enjoys a serious political discourse but don’t name call, spin and whimper around him. Otherwise, he may ask if you would care for a little cheese with your whine.


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