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THE BULL AND THE BIZARRE
Another Sovereign Nation
'Tribe' wants to be recognized

by Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore
July 17, 2005

It used to be that I was amazed when someone figured out how to get "extra special treatment" from the federal government. I am well aware of the tribes of Native Americans that have used this to grant themselves sovereign nation status. Many times it is has been used to benefit the tribes. One way has been by getting the gambling hungry suckers to come and lay down their money. With buses of blue hair ladies coming through my town on the way to sovereign nation casino just outside of town to lay down their Social Security checks, I have seen it more often than you can imagine.
 
But I have to wonder if we haven't gone too far with Senate Bill #147. The bill is called the Native Hawaiian Government Reorganization Act of 2005. It has been introduced by Senator Daniel Akaka (D-HI). I guess that should come as no shock to most of you that a Senator from Hawaii would introduce the bill. Akaka and Sen. Daniel Inouye (also D-HI) wants to create another race based government. Yeppers, it's the Native Hawaiians. Under this bill natives of the islands would be designated as a "tribe" under federal Indian law. This bill would affect 20% of the population on the islands of Hawaii and close to a half a million folks nationwide.
 
Due to six years of forceful advancing, the distinguished Senators from Hawaii were able to secure a deal with the leadership to assure time before the summer session is over. Needless to say, the bill is not on the radar of most of the members of the Senate so no one knows where the votes are and how most elected officials feel about the bill.
 
What is the big deal, you say? Well, tribal governments have the ability to deny rights of American citizens afforded by the US Constitution based on any new "tribal laws" that would take precedence. There is also an issue of do the Native Hawaiians want this or even understand all of the consequences. My guess is that most would not understand the consequences and would be at the mercy of those with the most money to buy the ads to educate them. Oh, I guess that sounds like American elections.
 
But all of this got the Moo to begin to think. Even though my ethnic heritage looks like a branch of the United Nations, I could focus on being a native of Pennsylvania. Yes, Mr. Moo is an all-American mutt. But if I play it right, I could get Senator Specter or Senator Santorum to come to rescue of all natives of the commonwealth of Pennsylvania. The Commonwealthian Government Reorganization Act of 2006. Oooh, I feeling the pride in Pennsylvania swelling up in me. Ring the liberty bell. Get me some $100 bills with Ben Franklin's picture on it. Buy me a Phillies baseball cap. Grab me a Steelers jersey. Forget my alma maters; I am now a Nittney Lion fan.
 
Let's not go overboard. However, if you are going to err on the side of sovereign nations be ready for a ground swell of pride in the fact that folks are proud to be anything that'll get them special treatment.


About the Author:
Mr. Moo is wondering if cows could get special treatment. After all, he is proud to be a Bovine-American.


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