THE BULL AND THE BIZARRE
Triple Bypass Reveals Triple Marriages
Don't show up - just send flowers.
by Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore
August 28, 2005
It’s time to take all of you to jolly old England for this week’s bull.
Melvyn was experiencing some chest pains and was admitted to the hospital. Doctors determined that he was in need of a triple bypass. The 59 year old company director was taken in for surgery and came through with flying colors. He had to be feeling good until he realized his “triple” day was not over. You see Melvyn was married to three women.
Now, Mr. Moo can only imagine the response of the hospital receptionist when three women walked in moments apart and asked what room their husband, Melvyn Reed, was in. But I don’t want to imagine the scene in the waiting room.
Three wives sitting side by side waiting for the surgeon to appear.
Wife #1 – I am getting a little nervous. I hope my husband is ok.
Wife #2 – Oh, is he having surgery now?
Wife #1 – Yes, a triple bypass.
Wife #3 – Oh really, so is mine. I wonder how long these operations take.
Wife #2 – Wow, they must have been having a rush on heart operations. My husband is having the same procedure.
Wife #1 – I hope we all hear soon and good news.
Doctor comes through the door to the waiting room.
Doctor – Family of Melvyn Reed?
Wife #1, #2, #3 – Yes?
Wife #1 – Wait a minute. I didn’t realize you were family. I’m Melvyn’s wife.
Wife #2 – No, I’m Melvyn’s wife.
Wife #3 – You two are mistaken, I am Melvyn Reed’s wife.
Doctor – OK, well whoever is Melvyn’s wife. He came through the surgery just fine and will be out of recovery soon.
Doctor leaves and the wives begin to visit quietly to get to the bottom of the situation.
Actually the meeting of the wives took place in the hospital parking lot. Wife #1, Jean had been married to Melvyn for going on 40 years. Denise was #2, and had been married in 1998. Lyndsey (wife #3) and Melvyn were married in 2003. Soon all three women realize that their loving devoted husband is a bigamist, or would it be a trigamist? Melvyn had thought that by scheduling when the wives would come to the hospital, he had the perfect plan. But not so. Wouldn’t you have loved to be a fly on the wall when wife #1 walked in with #2 and #3?’I’m surprised he didn’t go into cardiac arrest.
Following his hospital stay, he went to the police and confessed that he was indeed married to all three women. Following a court hearing, Reed was given a suspended sentence of 4 months and ordered to pay court costs of 70 pounds (about $126). Word is that the last two wives are seeking an annulment but there is a question if the marriages were ever legal at all.
In one regard, I wish the judge would have not given a suspended sentence. It would be entertaining to see the look on the prison guard’s face when all three women showed up at the same time. Better yet, if the three mothers-in-law showed up at the same time.
Trust me, Melvyn, the 70 pound court cost will not be the last of your costs. You’ll be paying this situation off for the rest of your life.
About the Author:
Mr. Moo is sure that if Melvyn’s only medical problem was his heart before the surgery, he will now be dealing with the results of at least three beatings.
This article was printed from www.partialobserver.com.
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