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12 Limericks

by R.G. Trepanier
September 20, 2005

12 Limericks_R.G. Trepanier- There once was a girl from the Soo,
Who met a guy from Kalamazoo,
When they went to get married,
The baby they carried,
Was naught but their pet kangaroo.

There once was a man from the city,
Who picked up a stray, hungry kitty,
Though the black and white stripes
weren't really his type,
The smell made him re-think his pity.

There was a young crew from des Plaines,
Who had an aversion to flying in planes,
"We'd take the bus
If it were left up to us,
Or at least hitch a ride on a train."

There once was a fish in the sea,
No feistier fish could there be.
Along came a gold glimmer,
And greed claimed the sinner,
And now, that fish is in me.

I went to the store to buy plants;
The clerk gave a fine song and dance;
He didn't know roses
)From elephant's noses,
and treated butterfly larva as ants.

There once was a prosperous gecko,
Who was in love with a lawyer named Echo.
When two squirrels in the street,
Made her car face the heat,
She sued him right up to his neck-o.

There once was a man from Calcutta,
Whose love life was all of a flutta.
But his love was his shoes
Which were bright azure blue,
And at sixty, he lives with his mutta.

There once was a young kangaroo,
Who didn't want to go to the zoo.
"I'm afraid of small spaces,"
He said through his braces,
And so he came down with the flu.

Once there was a young spy,
Whom the feds were hoping to fry.
But the store made his day,
When on the scales he got a weigh,
And now he gets by on the sly.

There was a young exec named Small,
Whose life was ruined by a little white ball.
Though his use of woods and irons
Helped to clear up his environs;
The tales about his swinging life were tall.

I bought this thing for my mother,
It was no mystery because I love her.
It has leaves and a spine,
Its look is divine,
I can tell it's a book by its cover.

I was asked to write down some lim'ricks.
In my arm I would rather get pin pricks.
To try to find rhymes
When you haven't the time,
I think I would rather be reading.
(get car sick)

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