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THE BULL AND THE BIZARRE
One for the Road, Again?
Dubya reported to be on the juice.

by Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore
September 25, 2005

One of the reasons why I love to go grocery shopping with my wife, other than to spend some time with her is to check out those first class publications in the check out isle. Today brought me a little closer to reality when I found out that Einstein's brain has come back to life. Now, how could have I lived through this weekend without that prime information? But when an article from the National Enquirer announced that the President was back on the bottle, I was shocked.  I mean, I can imagine that the stress of being leader of the free world is great but to hear this … well, I am speechless.
 
The article quoted an unidentified insider: "When the levees broke in New Orleans, it apparently made him reach for a shot. He poured himself a Texas-sized shot of straight whiskey and tossed it back." And if that wasn't scary enough, a Washington D.C. psychiatrist and author Dr. Justin Frank who wrote Bush On The Couch: Inside The Mind Of The President, told The National Enquirer: "I do think that Bush is drinking again. Alcoholics who are not in any program, like the President, have a hard time when stress gets to be great." I know he must be telling the truth with a name like Frank.
 
I mean think about it. The war in Iraq is not the quickie that everyone thought it would be and now the American people are turning on the Prez. The pressure of making two nominations to the Supreme Court, when the first one is getting drilled on Capitol Hill, has to be enormous. I mean the call of the President could affect the country for decades. And then comes Katrina and Rita. These two gals would stress out anyone.
 
Now I realize that over the years, alcohol has flowed at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. But this president has admitted to a drinking problem in the past. Wow, having booze in the White House now would be like having former President Clinton under major stress with buxomous interns around. Oh, we have already been there? Oops.
 
And to make matters worse, I hear that Vice President Cheney is in the hospital again for surgery. What we need is someone who can be charge until things get straightened out. Now where was Al Haig's phone number?
 
God save the United States of America.
 


About the Author:
Mr. Moo used to use the National Enquirer for illustrations during his speaking engagements until people started taking his stories seriously. That was the first week.


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