RHYMES AND REASONS
The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet
A World Series win and an Oval Office loss.
by Greg Asimakoupoulos
October 28, 2005
they most certainly don't stink.
After Shoeless Joe's black scandal,
life is good. We're in the pink.
Second City's celebrating.
In The Cell the nuclei
is a dream team coached by Ozzie
that refused to quit or die.
On the Southside corks are popping
(actually it's more like beer)
as the fans who loved Comiskey
toast their team. Redemption's here.
But that woman nominated
as Judge Sandra steps aside
finds herself now wed to sorrow
though she's never been a bride.
Harriet has known no Ozzie.
Her adventures are alone.
And her record on the biggies
seemed to largely be unknown.
On the mat where her match centered
grunts and groans were clearly heard
as this wrestler’s reputation
caused a rumble. Passions stirred.
Seems her stand on pro-life issues
tripped her up and took her down
through half-Nelson claims by critics.
She was left quite bruised and bound.
In the end Ms. M cried uncle
to a tag team on the Hill,
while her boss and chief supporter
choked upon a bitter pill.
God Almighty, Judge of justice,
in this heated battle royal,
was it Your hand refereeing
when it slapped to end the toil?
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