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THE BULL AND THE BIZARRE
We're Number One!
But wouldn't you rather be last?

by Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore
August 27, 2006

The Princeton Review Annual College rankings came out this past week. This annual ranking is determined after interviewing over 100,000 students from 361 of the top institutions of higher learning in the country. The rankings cover everything: happiest students, best professors, biggest fraternity and sorority scene, most diverse student body, most accepting of students that are gay and lesbian, and many more.
 
The list is provided says Robert Franek, the author of the report, to provide more information to high school students. Dare I say, also to their parents.
 
The number one ranking that is the one you might not want is the "top party school". Now I know I wouldn't want my kids going there. There are enough distraction when going away to college without having parties all over campus. This years' honor goes to a school that won another national title in January and was shouting we're number one – the University of Texas.
 
Now to be considered a top party school, you are ranked on use of marijuana, consumption of beer, hard liquor, having a major fraternity and sorority scene and the number of hours spent studying. Obviously the last criteria has to have a low score.
 
Let's look how UT did so "well". In the category of reefer madness, the Longhorns are ranked 13th. Number one in this category was Warren Wilson College in Asheville, NC. (I guess the name of the town, nah, I won't go there.) WWC other number one ranking was the campus that is nostalgic for Bill Clinton. That is a tough combo to beat. But back to UT.
 
For hard liquor usage, the Longhorns did much better, ranking 2nd in the country, playing second fiddle only to LSU. It's tough to beat Cajun country for a little moonshine or did LSU get the honors because of students trying to drown their Katrina sorrows? For drinking the suds, UT was rated third. They did after all have some tough competition from last years' number one party school University of Wisconsin - Madison. Texas was ranked eight in the area of most active fraternity and sorority communities. (Wondering if the purple passion at the parties helped with the number two ranking in hard liquor?) The other category that contributed to the overall number one rating was the fact that they ranked sixth in the nation in the category "students who almost never study".
 
One side bar (just couldn't resist that play on words). Former Nebraska and current Ohio University head football coach Frank Solich pleaded not guilty on his DUI ticket in court this week, claiming it was GHB (a date rape drug) that caused his erratic driving. By the way, Ohio University ranked number 6 overall in the party school category.
 
So parents, if you are looking for a school for your son or daughter to attend following high school and the college or university says their number one, better check them out. It may not be the honor you think it should be. 


About the Author:
Mr. Moo will settle for the green, green grass of home. Oops, I mean the pasture.


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