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THE BULL AND THE BIZARRE
War on Drugs Continues
But Shouldn't We Define Drugs Accurately?

by Richard Mr. Moo Moore
April 20, 2008

He is 8 years old. He was suspended from elementary school in the burbs of Denver, Colorado because he was inhaling the fumes from a Sharpie.
 
Yep, a Sharpie.
 
Now even though it was a few years back, I remember smelling markers when I was in school. I remember when I was teaching elementary school that manufacturers were marketing smell good markers in fruit flavors.
 
But suspension for a Sharpie?
 
The teacher noticed that the 8 year old smelling an area he had colored on his sweatshirt with a Sharpie and promptly sent him to the principal's office. The principal suspended this student for; you guessed it, substance abuse.
 
The principal justified his actions by saying that excessive sniffing of his sweatshirt could cause … intoxication.
 
The last time I was in a classroom of third graders while my nose worked all I could smell was sweaty little bodies. That made me nauseated not intoxicated.
 
But back to a Colorado Rocky Mountain High.
 
Someone thinking rationally decided to check out the accusation of the principal and found that Sharpie's cannot make you intoxicated. All the while the principal has removed all Sharpie's and like permanent markers from the school declaring his school is "drug free".  And this declaration came after he was confronted with the facts from the Rocky Mountain Poison Control Center that there was not a way to get high from sniffing Sharpie's.
 
One reporter actually suggested that the principal should remove all pencils from the school as well in order to prevent students from getting lead poisoning.
 
Even though the suspension was only for one day, the young man involved was concerned about the fact that this suspension may affect his dream of playing in the National Football league.
 
Don't worry, little fellow. The NFL drug policy isn't this tough.
 
One last thought, if by some small chance there is something to the sniffing Sharpie deal that might explain something in this political campaign.
 
At every stop, candidates are signing posters, pictures, t-shirts etc with Sharpie's. Could it be the longer that you are in a campaign, you're getting intoxicated from fumes of the Sharpie's and that would cause for the crazy things that the American people are getting promised?
 
Nah. That would be too much of a stretch.
 


About the Author:
It’s crazy reports like this that makes Mr. Moo want to go out and buy a Sharpie just to make a statement of support for the product.



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