THE BULL AND THE BIZARRE
Leaving Your Mark on the World
"Butt Bandit" caught in small Midwest town.
by Richard Mr. Moo Moore
November 23, 2008
During many graduation addresses across the country, speakers encourage graduates to leave your mark on the world. Some student will ignore the challenge. Some will go out into the world and accomplish great things for all of humanity. Some will leave their mark in a different way.
For two years, the small Midwestern town of Valentine, Nebraska, population 2,600, has seen evidence of a resident leaving his mark all over town. The mark? A bottom.
Yes, his mark was an imprint of the derriere, bottom, butt, cheeks, rear end, south end of a north bound man. Whatever you want to call it, his mark has been evident throughout Valentine.
It began to appear in the spring of 2007. Police began to receive calls about strange marks on windows. It appeared to be one man's bottom impressions that appeared on windows around town. Hotel windows, car windows, windows at the local middle school, storefront windows and even the windows at a church have been imprinted with butt cheeks. With the use of lotion or even petroleum jelly, a facsimile of a one dimensional bottom was showing up all around town.
Now when I first heard of this, I was reminded of the 1970's fad of streaking. But (pun intended) I do not remember the streaking including making impressions on area windows.
Some may think that I have scraped the bottom (yep, pun intended again) of the weird news barrel however I never thought it would get this crazy.
For a town known as a location to re-mail Valentine Day cards (see my earlier article on Valentine's Day from 2007) or a town recently nominated as one of top wilderness towns by National Geographic, this incident really will mark the town.
Poor Valentine, NE.
Maybe the town could capitalize on their fame by using a special shaped postmark all year around like they do during the month of February. Instead of a heart or a plain circle, there could be a bottom imprint.
But then again, maybe not.
About the Author:
Mr. Moo loves the world of bizarre. And this one is pretty bizarre.
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