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ARMCHAIR ANALYST Why Weird Al Should Do the Super Bowl Halftime Show
A rock dinosaur who's still relevant
by James Leroy Wilson
September 27, 2011
An Open Letter to the NFL,
Congratulations! For the past 15 years or so, you have consistently (with a few exceptions of course) produced exciting Super Bowls that were often in doubt until late in the game.
It used to be that Super Bowls were about the commercials. Even the half-time shows were usually lame. I recall turning the channel to MTV at halftime for a few years. Then, you hired MTV to produce the halftime show. That seemed to bring back the younger audience, and then there was a course-change after Justin Timerlake fiasco (which was wrongly blamed on Janet Jackson).
After that, you reverted to "safe" old rock acts, with varying success. Last year, you invited the younger Black-Eyed Peas, who brought along Usher and Slash. That concert was widely panned.
The question is, who can be introduced as the Halftime Show performer who won't inspire a sense of dread among the public?
Weird Al Yankovic.
He's funny without being controversial
He's been around for thirty years but is still relevant, producing two Top 10 albums in the past five years
He would have something to offer football fans from the age of 5 to 65.
More importantly, he can use his song parodies to make a parody out of the Super Bowl Halftime Show itself.
He use stand-ins for costume changes
Lip-sync and use pre-recorded messages
Even pre-record the close-ups of his performance
My suggested playlist - of course, time constraints will prevent playing every song in full:
1. A medley of "Perform This Way" and "Smells Like Nirvana:"
2. White and Nerdy:
3. And now this can get REALLY tacky. Bring out a college marching band to perform "Eat It" with Weird Al:
4. Add in a black gospel choir for "Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me." Give appropriately-seated spectators in the stands lights which, together, would spell out "Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me"
5. And wrap it all up with an all-star line-up who will each sing a line from "Don't Download This Song."
It would include everything people think is cheesy about the halftime show, but this time everyone one would love it.
This is a can't-miss. Invite Weird Al to do the show.