This page has been formatted for easy printing
www.partialobserver.com

SATIRE
Man, Age 49, Upset He’s No Longer “Desired”
Too old to be part of advertisers’ key demographic.

by Essie McShepherd
October 14, 2002

Man, Age 49, Upset He’s No Longer “Desired”_Essie McShepherd-Too old to be part of advertisers’ key demographic. Sacramento, CA (PO) – George Stamopholis, age 49 and a half, was shocked to find out most advertisers no longer cared what he thought.

“Oh, sure, you listen to me for like, 30 years, and suddenly I’m not hip anymore??” quipped a bitter Stamopholis, “I still watch the X-games; I think Catherine Zeta-Jones is hot, doesn’t that matter to anyone?”

According to marketing people, the answer, sadly, is “No.” Ad executive Peter Jannsen, himself 36, feels Stamopholis’s pain, “Realistically, we are now targeting males age 18-35. That would put myself beyond the targeted audience. But we try to soften the blow, by saying age 49 as the cut off. Really, we stopped listening to 49-year-olds about ten years earlier.”

Jannsen went on to say that ad execs do care what males over 35 think, it’s just not as important.

“Why do we target men under 40? One word; gullibility. We find that most men 36 and older have wives and/or children. They have a sense of responsibility. Younger men are generally single and will buy just about anything that guarantees sex appeal. They have no wives telling them what they’re doing, buying or watching is really stupid. This is why we can sell almost anything to them.”

“As long as we have a good-looking supermodel admiring an average Joe drinking our beer, average guys will believe all supermodels are attracted to guys who drink our beer.”

Jake Peterson, age 26, revels in his age group’s ability to control marketing.

“Just the other day, me and some of my buddies were asked by a marketing guy what we’d like to see. We told him we’d like to see a show about a beer-drinking monkey. I hear FOX is producing ‘World’s Scariest Car Chases: When Drunken Monkeys Get Behind the Wheel!’ Man, I love choosing what other people will have to watch!”

“Drunken monkeys driving cars?” replied 23-year-old Mike Watson, “that would be funny!”

“I don’t think I’d watch that,” admitted Stamopholis, “maybe there’s a ‘Barney Miller’ marathon on? Look, just because a guy doesn’t find drunken monkeys driving funny, does that make him unworthy to listen to?”

“If he’s over 48,” replied ad exec Jannsen, “yes.”

About the Author:
Essie McShepherd is still part of advertisers' key demograph, but refuses to watch drunken monkeys drive, unless there's a PO story behind it.


This article was printed from www.partialobserver.com.
Copyright © 2017 partialobserver.com. All rights reserved.