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Needling a Point
Dr. Spin advises some TLC for old LPs.

by Dr. Spin
January 27, 2003

Needling a Point_Dr. Spin-Dr. Spin advises some TLC for old LPs. Doctor,
I saw Rod Stewart's latest CD in the store today - Rod Stewart sings the Great American Songbook, or something, George Gershwin, Cole Porter, and the like. I had also seen a TV promo for it, and it looked like a Saturday Night Live skit.

Rod has a very distinctive voice that might lend it self to standards - I don't know, but what's going on here? Is he really into these old tunes, or is he trying to reinvent himself because he's hit a lull in his career?

Rock on,
Maxwell S. Hammer

Dear Max,

My feeling is Rod Stewart’s career started going horribly wrong shortly after releasing “Every Picture Tells a Story.” When he was with the Faces, Rod rocked, but after that he either followed his worse impulses, or listened to the wrong people. I have no idea who he’s trying to appeal to; people who like Cole Porter, and George Gershwin probably won’t want to hear Rod sing those songs, and Rod’s fans (those that he still has) probably don’t want to hear him songs that their grandparents used to listen to.

Dr. Spin,

I haven't heard much buzz about boy bands lately? Are they passe?


Dear Dude,

One can only hope.

Even if the time of the boy bands is “over,” new boy bands (and other teenage schlock) will probably resurface within a decade or two. Before the boy bands of N*SYNC and Back Street Boys, there was New Kids on the Block. Before New Kids there was New Edition in the ‘80’s, and so forth, back all the way to Frankie Avalon and Fabian. Teen Idols are an unfortunate side effect of Rock being Pop and vice-versa. The boy band era may be over for now, but just like Ahnold, “They’ll be back!”

Dear Dr. Spin,
I have some classic albums on LP, such as MJ's "Thriller," but the rubber belt that turns the table is old, loose, and keeps falling off. Where can someone find replacement parts for record players? (We only have one needle, too.) Can other parts be adapted, like fan-belts and sewing needles? Or will I have to spend another twenty bucks to get "Thriller" on a CD?

Sincerely, Vinyl Vanity

Dear Vanity,

ARE YOU A MORON?? Sewing needles on vinyl records? What, do you use your old 45’s as occasional coasters??

Any person who claims to respect the almighty vinyl knows it needs special care! Vinyl records are like a vintage car; you get only the best for them. Go find a cat-o’-nine-tails, flog yourself, wear ashes and sackcloth, and then go down to a REAL audio store (not one of those Best Buy warehouse deals) and get the parts your turntable so richly deserves. The turntable (record player) is becoming a bit like the dinosaur, but it is still made and is still a preferred tool of DJ’s who like to “Scratch” and mix, so I’m sure replacement parts are plentiful. Look in your local yellow pages to find a store that carries such parts.

And then go read my article “Waxing About Wax” again, so you can remember why vinyl is, was, and always shall be superior to CDs (talk about your coasters!) Vinyl records should NEVER EVER EVER be attempted to be played with a sewing needle. EVER!

About the Author:
Dr. Spin fears Rod Stewart's next album will be a tribute to boy bands. He highly recommends playing THAT with sewing needles.

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