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Saddam Plays Hide ‘n’ Seek
U.S. Government sure of “hidden” bombs.

by Essie McShepherd
March 7, 2003

Saddam Plays Hide ‘n’ Seek_Essie McShepherd-U.S. Government sure of “hidden” bombs. WASHINGTON, D.C.(PO) — Saddam Hussein, leader of Iraq claims he has no nuclear weapons or weapons of “mass destruction,” but the U.S. Government isn’t buying it. Despite UN inspectors finding no evidence on their numerous searches, Bush and his administration feel the Iraqi government is still holding out.

“He’s lying to us,” says Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, “he’s got them and we know he’s got them.”

“Just because he says he doesn’t have the weapons, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t.” pointed out White House spokesperson Ari Fleischer.

Despite the Iraqi government’s denials, White House staff still insists Hussein is holding out.

Secretary of State Colin Powell, showed several compelling photos, “If you look at this photo, you can clearly see weapons storage facilities, where as in this photo taken a few weeks later, you can see the facilities have been removed. Where did the bombs go?”

When told by reporters that both photos were too fuzzy to tell anything, Powell countered by saying, “That’s why I’m Secretary of State and you’re not!”

“Iraq is a big country,” Rumsfeld noted, “You could hide a bomb anywhere. It’s almost as big as California. Look at this picture; it’s looks like an Iraqi home, but there could be a bomb in there! What about this? Camel tent or missile silo? You just can’t tell!”

White House spokesperson Fleischer added, “We haven’t been allowed in Saddam’s bathroom yet. There could be a bomb in there. You never know.”

“Look at this hill,” continued Rumsfeld, “doesn’t it look bomb-shaped to you? C’mon, I know I’m not the only one who sees it! Yeah, he’s hiding something there…”

Meanwhile UN Inspectors reiterate that they have found no evidence of nuclear missiles or chemical weapons, though they’ve been subject to many shouts of “Hey, what’s that over there!” and sudden mysterious gusts of wind knocking their helmets to the ground while inspecting several suspected sites. Iraqi officials say this is just a coincidence.

About the Author:
Essie McShepherd is The Partial Observer's foreign correspondant.


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