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Sort 249
Best and Worst.

by Dear Jon
January 6, 2004

Sort 249_Dear Jon-Best and Worst ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON:

Dear Jon,

What was the name of the award the Packers won in the first Super Bowl? Obviously they couldn't call it the Vince Lombardi Trophy, because he hadn't won it yet. Did Lombardi win his own trophy in Super Bowl II? How weird was it for Lombardi to watch another team win the Lombardi Trophy in Super Bowl III?

Trivia Man

Dear Man,

The earliest Super Bowls were called “The George Halas Trophy.” Oh, wait, I guess they never were.

Without looking anything up, I am pretty sure that the first three or four Super Bowls were called “The Super Bowl Trophy,” because it was the game to decide the world championship between the champions of two separate football leagues. Lombardi died and the leagues merged at around the same time, and right around then they embossed the award with the words “Vince Lombardi Trophy.”

In the season leading to Super Bowl Three, Lombardi was the General Manager in Green Bay but not the coach. In the season leading to Super Bowl Four, he coached the Washington Redskins. Again, without looking anything up, I am pretty sure he only coached the Redskins one year before he died.

The reason that I don’t look any of this up, is that I know that my information is accurate enough to have an intelligible grasp on the history of the NFL, so that any factual errors really do not have an impact on the shape of the NFL today, so why bother looking them up? My time is better spent on other projects, like writing filler to meet a deadline with an article that is adequate length.

Thought for the Day: Magazines and newspapers had been running their “Best and Worst” moments of 2003. Here is Dear Jon’s.

A lot of celebrities died in 2003. There can be no “best and worst” celebrity death, although, many like Hope, Peck, and Hepburn faded to black while John Ritter went out at the peak of his career.

I don’t know what the worst movie released in 2003 might be, because I don’t waste my time on bad movies. I can tell you that Matrix 3 wasted the possibilities of the first Matrix, while Terminator 3 was just plain silly, but not as silly as California’s goober recall, or whatever they called it.

The best time I had at the movies was Sea Biscuit. The funniest time I had was watching Dorie, voiced by Ellen DeGeneres, trying to talk to a whale in Finding Nemo. The best “part III” ever released was The Return of the King, but I predict that the movie which will win the academy award for best picture is one I have not seen.

The best NFL team in 2003 was the Tampa Bay team that won the Super Bowl last January. That team would beat any of the contenders in the play-offs right now. 2003 also saw the worst post-Super Bowl collapse in history. Right now the Patriots appear to be playing like a team of destiny. When they blundered their way to a Wild-card Super Bowl victory over the Rams two years ago, no one spoke of either destiny or “dynasty.”

The most dramatic t.v. footage was California burning. Early in the year, astronauts were killed on re-entry, yet the worst disaster was the Bam, Iran earthquake right at the end of the year. Saddam Hussein wins for stupidest tyrant, but his playing hard-to-get with UN inspectors who would simply have ratified his compliance, still does not justify George Bush winning the prize for being fastest on the draw. The free press in the United States wins the prize for being the world’s most pandering propaganda machine. Ariel Sharon and Yassir Arafat share the prize for being the leaders their peoples most deserve.

2003 saw the United States invoke the imperial right of waging pre-emptive war, the President’s carrier landing, deficit spending, Gore’s endorsement of Dean, the entire state of California, “Freedom” fries on the menu, Madonna and Brit, Joe Millionaire 2, homicide bombings, security fences, and various Supreme Court rulings. Yet, the most illogical and preventable event that happened in 2003, was the BCS selection to have Oklahoma play in the national championship after they lost the Big 12 Conference championship. Can you imagine putting the loser of the NFC championship in the Super Bowl? The BCS has reaped what it has sown with another split decision; in addition, LSU’s victory (in 2004) demonstrates that maybe, just maybe, Oklahoma did not belong in that game. You think?

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