Home
Loading
  Contact Us    
Sort 254

Getting in the Valentine Mood.

by Dear Jon
February 10, 2004

Bookmark and Share


ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON:

Dear Jon,

I love having the latest technological gadgets. The problem is the new stuff is always too expensive for me and by the time it's affordable, it's obsolete. And if I do happen to splurge on something cutting-edge, I'm disappointed a year later, when the new model hits the market. How do I cope with this endless cycle of advancing technology?

-Tech Junkie

Dear Junk,

You answered your own letter. You do not love the “having,” you love the “getting,” but you are not in an income bracket to afford the latest toys as soon as they appear. The only solution for a person with your desires is to get hired into the product testing department at Motorola® or Sony®.

Otherwise, be content to be about 18 months behind. Affordable obsolescence offers a much improved product, with consumer-friendly features added on and the bugs expelled from the earliest cutting-edge models. Think about DVD players on the market now versus five years ago.


ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON:

Dear Jon,

I'm married and some years, on Valentine's Day, I don't feel very romantic because of other things going on or I'm just not in the mood. If that's how I feel this year, should I fake a romantic mood or try to explain to my wife that I'm not up for the whole romantic evening on that particular night?

Sincerely,
Cupid's Occasional Enemy

Dear Cupid,

That’s really funny. I’m trying to figure out just how, exactly, a guy can “fake a romantic mood.” A guy’s appetite for romantic engagement, or his loss of appetite, is pretty obvious.

On the other hand, romance is not a mood. Romance is a relationship. Buying your wife flowers and/or a box of candy is not about being “in the mood.” It is about remembering your wife as the one who is special to you in every romantic sense, and who also chose you to be special to her.

Beyond the remembrance, there are other things associated with Valentine’s Day that you might not have the energy for. The candlelit dinner, a “girl” movie, dancing or ice skating, champagne in a hot-tub, and other activities that depend more on appetites that cannot be faked. Those are all negotiable assuming that your wife is reasonably well-adjusted. She might agree that another evening in the week suits her better too.

This is the great thing about grown-ups. They can work this stuff out.

If your wife is neurotic, and will feel unloved, rejected, and forever bitter unless you have a French chef in your kitchen and your dining room filled with heart-shaped balloons, then there is nothing I can do to help you.

If, for you, the romantic “mood” strikes approximately once a year, falling somewhere between March Madness and the Stanley Cup finals, you might need to practice being affectionate to your wife, even if you do not feel like it. Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to show your wife that she means so much more than your monosyllabic grunts during breakfast can tell.

It is one thing if Valentine’s Day falls on a Tuesday. It can be understandable to postpone celebrations. This year, Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday. This means you are without excuse. Unless you are working at a convenience store, what other plans could you possibly have for Saturday evening other than paying attention to your wife? “Televised hockey” is not an answer.

With four days until Valentine’s Day, you can reconcile yourself to Cupid and have a great time with your wife:

1. It is easy to prepare. Candy, flowers and wine are all available at large super markets.

2. If Saturday is a movie night, go to a movie or rent one that she would want to see. Hint: It probably does not star Vin Diesel.

3. If you eat out or go clubbing, why should this Saturday night be any different?

4. Four days of foreplay can have a big pay-off. Imagine cuddling her this evening for no reason at all. Then tomorrow, give her a back-rub and ask about her day. Actually listen, and ask questions that show you are reflecting on her stories and her feelings. Then on Thursday, kiss her on the couch for ten minutes straight without making any other moves. On Friday, draw her a hot bath with suds and oils, and then read out loud to her from the novel “In Her Shoes” or anything else written by Judy Devereaux. By Saturday when she discovers the chocolate, flowers, and wine, she will be completely, madly in love with you like she was the week after you got engaged, but it will feel like the week after you got married. You will be “in the mood” by then, too. Trust me.

(0 Comments)
Post a Comment

Send Us Your Opinion
(Comments are moderated.)
Your Name:*


Your E-Mail Address:*
(Confidential. Will not be published.)


Location:


Comments:*
Note: In order to control automated spam submissions, URLs are no longer permitted in this form.



Verification:
Please type the letters you see above.

  Printer-Friendly

Bookmark and Share


PO BOOKS BY DEAR JON
Dear Jon Letters: Tips for Dating and Mating
Temporarily Unavailable
Published July 21, 2008

Our advice humorist turns his attention and trademark wit to affairs of the heart in his first and very affordable book (only $8.95!).

More Information
RSS FEED
RSS Feed for Dear Jon: RSS Feed for Dear Jon
EMAIL ALERTS
Sign up to receive an e-mail notice when new articles by this author are published. Your address remains confidential, and you may cancel at any time. A confirmation email will be sent.

Your e-mail address:
Sort 254
po Books
Now Available!

Teachings of a Three Year Old... Turned Tyke,
by Hal Evan Caplan.

A father learns from the wisdom of his toddler.

More Information.

More by Dear Jon
Sort 433: Going on Sabbatical
Miss Me? Let me know!
by Dear Jon, 6/15/10
Sort 432: Jokes and Horse Names
and other Random One Liners
by Dear Jon, 6/8/10
Sort 431: Piggy Tossing
and the new touring show: "Lord of the Flies."
by Dear Jon, 6/1/10
Sort 430: Forwarding Fear
Spam with a side of mashed logic
by Dear Jon, 5/25/10
Sort 429, Mixing Oil and Water
is like mixing politics and humor. All you get is a sticky mess and a lot of upset environmentalists.
by Dear Jon, 5/18/10
Sort 428: Handling the Truth
And other lessons for cable channels
by Dear Jon, 5/11/10
Sort 427: Dear Jon Knew When to Shut Up
Finally
by Dear Jon, 5/4/10
» Complete List (462)


RSS FEED
RSS Feed for Dear Jon: RSS Feed for Dear Jon

Recently Published
View Article Salvator Mundi
Not the painting but the Person
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 12/7/17
When the Newsman Becomes News
Lamenting yet another fallen hero
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 12/1/17
Let's Hear It for Moms and Pops
Celebrating Small Business Saturday in a very personal way
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 11/22/17
An Earthquake in La La Land
Examining what's been exposed in the rubble
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 11/17/17
Where is God?
Reflecting on the tragedy in a little Texas town
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 11/10/17
An All Saints Day Tribute
Remembering those who left us
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 11/3/17
A Mighty Fortress was His God
Remembering the legacy of Martin Luther 500 years later
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 10/27/17

Get the Partial Observer's
'recently published' headlines via RSS.


RSS Feed for Recently Published PO Articles    What is RSS?

Reproduction of original material from The Partial Observer without written permission is strictly prohibited.
The opinions expressed by site contributors do not necessarily reflect those of the editors.
Copyright ©2000-2017 partialobserver.com. All rights reserved.
Home · Site Map · Top