Contact Us    
Twenty-Third Sort

Valentine's Day Tips for Guys

by Dear Jon
February 12, 2001

Bookmark and Share

Twenty-Third Sort_Dear Jon-Valentine's Day Tips for Guys ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON

Dear Jon,
Got any good, original Valentine's Day ideas I can spring on my wife?
Thanks, Desperate

Dear Desperate,
Holy cow, is it Valentine's Day already? If I had any sense at all I would scrap this whole Monday deadline, and hurry up and get something ready before Wednesday leaps out and bites me in the butt.

Before we panic, let us think this through calmly and rationally. One can make the excuse that "Wednesday" Valentine's Day does not feel romantic. Promise her something wonderful and huge during the following week-end. This buys you 2-3 extra days to plan.

As far as planning, a "good" idea is not always the same as an "original" idea. Women only like "original" when it is a)romantic, and b) executed skillfully. Some things that are original to some, are not original for others.

For example, it would be original for me to serve breakfast to my wife while she is in bed on Valentine's Day. This would require getting up at 5:30 AM on Wednesday. If I were to make a 9 AM Saturday "brunch" in bed the main reason why she waited three whole days, I would be in bad trouble. Also, it would require obtaining an appropriate tray, which we would then have to find storage for. So, for these reasons, Breakfast in Bed, although original, would not be executed very well. Other men serve their wives Breakfast in Bed all the time, and know how to do it so that it is appreciated, even though it is not original.

(Do NOT offer your wife breakfast in bed if your idea of French Toast is pouring syrup on a pop-tart.)

Flowers and candy are not original, but so what? Dinner at a nice restaurant is not original. A night of bowling and Bruce Willis videos might be original for Valentine's Day, but is probably not a good idea.

Normally, ideas that are both good and original cost a lot of money in order to be executed skillfully. An evening helicopter ride over a lake at sunset would be very romantic, and also very expensive. It might also be too late to book.

On the whole, you don't have to be "desperate." If you can scrape together enough for dinner, candy, flowers, and card, you will be considered romantic
and loving and thoughtful.

Post a Comment

Send Us Your Opinion
(Comments are moderated.)
Your Name:*

Your E-Mail Address:*
(Confidential. Will not be published.)


Note: In order to control automated spam submissions, URLs are no longer permitted in this form.

Please type the letters you see above.


Bookmark and Share

Dear Jon Letters: Tips for Dating and Mating
Temporarily Unavailable
Published July 21, 2008

Our advice humorist turns his attention and trademark wit to affairs of the heart in his first and very affordable book (only $8.95!).

More Information
RSS Feed for Dear Jon: RSS Feed for Dear Jon
Sign up to receive an e-mail notice when new articles by this author are published. Your address remains confidential, and you may cancel at any time. A confirmation email will be sent.

Your e-mail address:
Twenty-Third Sort
po Books
Now Available!

Teachings of a Three Year Old... Turned Tyke,
by Hal Evan Caplan.

A father learns from the wisdom of his toddler.

More Information.

More by Dear Jon
Sort 433: Going on Sabbatical
Miss Me? Let me know!
by Dear Jon, 6/15/10
Sort 432: Jokes and Horse Names
and other Random One Liners
by Dear Jon, 6/8/10
Sort 431: Piggy Tossing
and the new touring show: "Lord of the Flies."
by Dear Jon, 6/1/10
Sort 430: Forwarding Fear
Spam with a side of mashed logic
by Dear Jon, 5/25/10
Sort 429, Mixing Oil and Water
is like mixing politics and humor. All you get is a sticky mess and a lot of upset environmentalists.
by Dear Jon, 5/18/10
Sort 428: Handling the Truth
And other lessons for cable channels
by Dear Jon, 5/11/10
Sort 427: Dear Jon Knew When to Shut Up
by Dear Jon, 5/4/10
» Complete List (462)

RSS Feed for Dear Jon: RSS Feed for Dear Jon

Recently Published
View Article The Death of a Trailblazer
Remembering my neighbor Paul Allen
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 10/18/18
Be Sure Your Sins Will Find You Out
The transgressions of youth and social media follow us
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 10/12/18
So Who are We to Judge?
A timely question
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 10/4/18
Tiger, Tiger Burning Bright
An amazing comeback for a disgraced golfer
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 9/28/18
Bert and Ernie are Not Gay!
Attempting to make sense of a senseless claim
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 9/21/18
A Prayer for Hurricane Victims
Asking God to calm the storm
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 9/14/18
Are We Ready for Some Football?
A rhetorical question as the NFL season kicks off
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 9/7/18

Get the Partial Observer's
'recently published' headlines via RSS.

RSS Feed for Recently Published PO Articles    What is RSS?

Reproduction of original material from The Partial Observer without written permission is strictly prohibited.
The opinions expressed by site contributors do not necessarily reflect those of the editors.
Copyright ©2000-2018 partialobserver.com. All rights reserved.
Home · Site Map · Top