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Time to Take a Break

Sort 270 will have to last you until August.

by Dear Jon
June 22, 2004

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ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON:

Dear Jon,

So your point on the "President of Beers" campaigns, is that it is basically a two-party system that refuses to address other potential candidates, such as Coors or Michelob?

Beer Drinker
 
Dear Beer,
 
Um, yah, that’s exactly my point. And if you are a marketing executive with a contract for Coors®, take my advice and please, please don’t bother. You would only confirm the suspicion of everyone that the votes you want would be wasted.

 
ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON:

Dear Jon,

I know this question is setting me up for a punchline, but I'm serious; what is the difference between a donkey and an ass? I know a mule is the offspring of a horse and an ass, but are donkeys and asses different breeds?

Sincerely,
Not Trying 2B
 
Dear B,
 
There is no difference. These are two words for the same animal.

 
Dear Reader,
 
So much for the mailbag. I am going on sabbatical from the Partial Observer. By the time I come back, I will probably be prohibited from commenting on incumbents in electoral politics thanks to “Campaign Finance Reform and Threshing of the First Amendment” law by Arizona senator John McCain.
 
Here are my parting shots and thoughts for the summer:
  1. Frogs, lizards, and girls in tight shorts do not sell beer.
     
  2. Stem cell research is to Alzheimer’s disease what the War on Terror is to nation building in Iraq: there is no connection except what is incoherently perceived by a public spokesperson and then tossed around the media circus as “news” to a gullible public.
     
  3. One’s position on abortion should determine how one votes in this election about as decisively as one’s position on ozone emissions. If those really are your crusades, vote your conscience. Personally, I’m more troubled by an administration elected on a platform of international humility who then rule by fiats that ignore the Geneva conventions while holding Congress and the rule of law in contempt.
     
  4. John Kerry will matter as much in office as he does now.
     
  5. The trick will be getting Dick Cheney, John Ashcroft, Don Rumsfeld and Paul Wolfowitz not to matter at all.
     
  6. Had Colin Powell walked away a year ago, he would have been the public figure in all of history that I respected the most. Now I still respect him, but the luster on his medals are starting to tarnish.
     
  7. Condi Rice can still survive this fiasco and prepare for a showdown versus Hilary Clinton for President in 2008.
     
  8. Nixon lived a generation too soon. Like Napoleon, he is only a villain because he was ahead of his time, and lost.
     
  9. It is okay to love a former President even if the politics were polarizing. The outpouring for Reagan was appropriate. Perhaps it is true that Reagan brought dignity back to the office of the President. When it is Jimmy Carter’s time he should receive the same outpouring of affection because he brought dignity back to the office of ex-president.
     
  10. The NFL is anybody’s league this year, which make the odds too long for anybody including the Green Bay Packers.
     
  11. If the scandal of Abu Ghraib is not enough to bring down this administration, I fear for America’s soul.
     
  12. Cynics who do not see that Abu Ghraib matters much because America has been hypocritical all through history anyway, are part of the problem and should not be counted on to offer sensible solutions.
     
  13. A marriage amendment to the Constitution of the United States is necessary only because stupid people want to change the meanings of words.
     
  14. Stupid Person, defined: A person who chooses to insinuate fluidity in semantic relationships so as to establish a fresh perspective on a word’s hierarchy of meaning.
     
  15. Even if Bush promised me a fully inhabited Mars colony by 2007, I would not vote for him for fear that he would build a new prison for terror suspects and declare the treatment of prisoners held on Mars “removed from earth-bound notions of civility.”
     
  16. Do you remember how I felt about those teenagers in the Chicago suburbs who hazed those girls? I am angrier about Abu Ghraib, in case you have not noticed.
     
  17. I have yet to see a movie for the sake of Vin Diesel. If the Chronicles of Riddick get good reviews, I will see it for the sake of Dame Judy Dench.
     
  18. Nothing will ever be like it was, and that makes me both happy and sad.
     
  19. Hopefully, the direction of change will be away from fear-mongering and towards the blessings of liberty. That change will not be determined by this election, however.
     
  20. I am excited to spend this July 4th in Boston.

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