Contact Us    
Thirty-Fourth Sort

Fear and Bodaciousness

by Dear Jon
March 22, 2001

Bookmark and Share

Thirty-Fourth Sort_Dear Jon-Fear and Bodaciousness AN ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON

Yo Letter Dude!

I think you're being way too harsh on people not opening with a greeting. To quote Shakespeare, "Me thinks thou doest protest a lot." Anyway, dude, I just want to say your column's rad! Oh yeah! My question is "What's the secret of McDonald's secret sauce?" Isn't it just salad dressing?

Most Bodaciously,
Surfer Dude

P.S. Partial Observer rocks!

To Whom It May Concern:

Thank you for addressing your comments to the "Dear Jon" column at The Partial Observer. Unfortunately, your letter does not suit the needs of "Dear Jon" at this time. Thank you for reading The Partial Observer.

The Columnist


Dear Jon: Is it just this one letter for this Thursday? I'll cut you some slack ... I'm going to hold off publishing your Thursday column until around around 9 AM. I'm holding off since it is unusual in case you were planning to write more. Let me know.



Please forgive me for not having anything worthy of publication today. I promise it will never happen again. Please, please DON'T hurt me this time.

Just to show you that I am keeping in good faith, Master, I will retract my rejection letter from that California Weed-head who wants to know about McDonalds. I did not think it was worthy of you, Master. Forgive me.


Dear Surfer Dude,

Your letter was like a total trip! "What do they put in McDonalds' Secret Sauce?" I don't know, man, but whatever they put in it for you, I'd like them to put in for me. Whoah! Trip out!

So that stuff I wrote at the top? A formal, stuffed-shirt rejection letter? Like a total joke, man. Ha ha. I'm nothing like that. Really. I'm totally laid back. Even Shakespeare wrote, "Wit is funny," or something like that. So anyway, Partial Observer Rocks! Rock On, Bodacious One!

Dear, Dear Master:

I think this column now meets specifications for length. I promise it will never happen again.

[The Webmaster responds: Sounds like SOMEONE is having a bad week. I entreat our readers to try to cheer up our poor, poor Dear Jon. Write a Dear Jon Letter today!]

Post a Comment

Send Us Your Opinion
(Comments are moderated.)
Your Name:*

Your E-Mail Address:*
(Confidential. Will not be published.)


Note: In order to control automated spam submissions, URLs are no longer permitted in this form.

Please type the letters you see above.


Bookmark and Share

Dear Jon Letters: Tips for Dating and Mating
Temporarily Unavailable
Published July 21, 2008

Our advice humorist turns his attention and trademark wit to affairs of the heart in his first and very affordable book (only $8.95!).

More Information
RSS Feed for Dear Jon: RSS Feed for Dear Jon
Sign up to receive an e-mail notice when new articles by this author are published. Your address remains confidential, and you may cancel at any time. A confirmation email will be sent.

Your e-mail address:
Thirty-Fourth Sort
po Books
Now Available!

Teachings of a Three Year Old... Turned Tyke,
by Hal Evan Caplan.

A father learns from the wisdom of his toddler.

More Information.

More by Dear Jon
Sort 433: Going on Sabbatical
Miss Me? Let me know!
by Dear Jon, 6/15/10
Sort 432: Jokes and Horse Names
and other Random One Liners
by Dear Jon, 6/8/10
Sort 431: Piggy Tossing
and the new touring show: "Lord of the Flies."
by Dear Jon, 6/1/10
Sort 430: Forwarding Fear
Spam with a side of mashed logic
by Dear Jon, 5/25/10
Sort 429, Mixing Oil and Water
is like mixing politics and humor. All you get is a sticky mess and a lot of upset environmentalists.
by Dear Jon, 5/18/10
Sort 428: Handling the Truth
And other lessons for cable channels
by Dear Jon, 5/11/10
Sort 427: Dear Jon Knew When to Shut Up
by Dear Jon, 5/4/10
» Complete List (462)

RSS Feed for Dear Jon: RSS Feed for Dear Jon

Recently Published
View Article Be Sure Your Sins Will Find You Out
The transgressions of youth and social media follow us
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 10/12/18
So Who are We to Judge?
A timely question
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 10/4/18
Tiger, Tiger Burning Bright
An amazing comeback for a disgraced golfer
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 9/28/18
Bert and Ernie are Not Gay!
Attempting to make sense of a senseless claim
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 9/21/18
A Prayer for Hurricane Victims
Asking God to calm the storm
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 9/14/18
Are We Ready for Some Football?
A rhetorical question as the NFL season kicks off
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 9/7/18
A "Dear John" Letter to Senator McCain
An expression of thanks for a remarkable leader
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 8/31/18

Get the Partial Observer's
'recently published' headlines via RSS.

RSS Feed for Recently Published PO Articles    What is RSS?

Reproduction of original material from The Partial Observer without written permission is strictly prohibited.
The opinions expressed by site contributors do not necessarily reflect those of the editors.
Copyright ©2000-2018 partialobserver.com. All rights reserved.
Home · Site Map · Top