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Dear Jon interviews Jon Deer.

by Dear Jon
April 23, 2001

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Forty-Third Sort_Dear Jon-Dear Jon interviews Jon Deer. ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON

Dear Jon,

It's seems like a long time since we heard from that great poet, Jon Deer. Does he have any new material for us, and is his favorite color green? (Jon Deer Green, get it?) What is he up to these days?

Jon Deer Fan

Dear Deer Fan,

Your letter raises some curious issues. I take it you find it meaningful to juxtapose the color green with the name "Jon Deer." I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.

Normally, one risks the wrath of Dear Jon's ego to praise other writers in my column. However, I feel peculiar affinity with Jon Deer. So I will honor
your letter and conduct an interview with Jon Deer for this very column:

DEAR: What are you DOING?

DEER: What are YOU doing?

DEAR: Just surfing the web for some hot links to cool sites.

DEER: That is correct. That is CORRECT!

DEAR: But listen, Jonnie Boy, some of our hip cats at the PO want to know what you have been working on recently.

DEER: I hear you, man, and hey readers, thank you for your support. As you know, inventing the "Okinawan Haiku" took a piece out of me, but after a few days mellowing at the Starbuck's, I got hit with a new inspiration. I started working again on a project that has taken me years. It is an Old English ballad, approximately contemporary with "Beowulf" only not as long or boring. I am translating it into contemporary English.

DEAR: Whoah, Jon Deer! That sounds just TOO awesome. When will the readers of the PO get to read it?

DEER: You know how it is, Dear Jon. We want the advice column to be for advice. I owe you everything for my fame, man, but this time I am going to take my chances with a submission direct to the "Webmaster,"

DEAR: How about that, readers? Say, Jon Deer, what is the name of this poem so that our loyal readers can look for it on the PO?

DEER: Well, IF the "Webmaster" agrees to print it, look for: "The Ballad of Everett the Saxon."

DEAR: Might that be found in the "Poetry" section?

DEER: Only the Webmaster knows. A ballad like this might be frowned upon for its traditional meter and rhyming scheme, not "Middle Brow" enough, to coin YOUR phrase...

DEAR: Cut it out, you kidder!

DEER: But whether it ranks with SE Shepherd's poetry, or ranks with Candy Bar Reviews in "Miscellaneous," I hope the Webmaster prints it.

DEAR: Readers, remember you discovered "Jon Deer" right here.

The Webmaster notes: Since I'm in a good mood, and for Jon Deer's fan(s) out there, I have decided to publish "The Ballad of Everett the Saxon." Click here to read it.

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