Contact Us    
Popeye, Scooby, and Tax Cuts

Dear Jon answers a flurry of actual letters.

by Dear Jon
June 21, 2001

Bookmark and Share

Popeye, Scooby, and Tax Cuts_Dear Jon-Dear Jon answers a flurry of actual letters. ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON:

Dear Jon,

I am greatly stunned to learn that the Partial Observer has relocated its main office from Chicago to Virginia. Will this cause a lowering of standards in such a fine web-zine? Why would anyone move to Virginia? Will Dear Jon now be ending all his columns with "Y'all come back now, hear?" How could you allow such a travesty?

Worried PO reader

Dear PO'd:

An even worse travesty is the Webmaster's decision to censor all free-lance and columnist material pertaining to the subject. Hopefully, since this is an "Actual Letter," it will slip past the web of paranoia. I understand that in your grief you would misplace the blame. Surely Dear Jon can pull the strings around here? No, not even my wild popularity holds much sway. But thanks for writing and, y'all come back now, hear?


Dear Jon,

With all your tirades on hockey and other winter sports, what do you think of in-line skating (a.k.a. rollerblading) and skate-boarding?


Dear Skater: I don't have to bust a spleen about rollerblading. I have a cousin who already did. But now he does something much safer: He plays rugby--you know, full contact tackle football but without any helmets or pads.


Dear Jon,

What's with Popeye and Bluto in this new orange juice ad?

OJ Drinker

Dear OJ: You watch too much television.


Dear Jon,

How come so many readers are including cities in their sign-off names?

Schenectady Sam

Dear Sam: Yah. And how come nobody asks an advice columnist for advice?


Dear Jon:

How come Fred, Velma, Daphne and Shaggy are willing to investigate all those creepy happenings of ghosts, monsters, etc., yet they fully accept that they have a talking dog? And who does Scooby-Doo belong to anyway?

Cartoon watcher

Dear Cartoon watcher: Everybody knows that Scooby-Doo belongs to Shaggy. What I want to know is, when are Fred and Daphne going to resolve the tension and finally sleep together?


Dear Jon,

Which do you prefer, receiving a $300-600 rebate check from the federal government, or sharply reduced cuts, to at least 33% if not 28%, in the top marginal rates, i.e., greater tax cuts for the "rich" including small businessmen who provide most of the nation's jobs? Do you prefer inflation-inducing Keynesian consumer-based economics or job-creating supply-side economics? A slightly larger pie or a much larger pie? Which is it, Dear Jon?


Dear Milton: You must be an idiot. I stand with the majority of patriotic Americans on this issue. Between $300 taken to the bank, or an abstract discussion of economic theory, let me say: We want our rebate checks NOW. And God bless our generous Federal Government for issuing them. We've depended on the Feds since 1933, and look what that's brought us: The blessings of --- uhm --- knowing that ...... we have a Federal Government that we can depend on!

Post a Comment

Send Us Your Opinion
(Comments are moderated.)
Your Name:*

Your E-Mail Address:*
(Confidential. Will not be published.)


Note: In order to control automated spam submissions, URLs are no longer permitted in this form.

Please type the letters you see above.


Bookmark and Share

Dear Jon Letters: Tips for Dating and Mating
Temporarily Unavailable
Published July 21, 2008

Our advice humorist turns his attention and trademark wit to affairs of the heart in his first and very affordable book (only $8.95!).

More Information
RSS Feed for Dear Jon: RSS Feed for Dear Jon
Sign up to receive an e-mail notice when new articles by this author are published. Your address remains confidential, and you may cancel at any time. A confirmation email will be sent.

Your e-mail address:
Popeye, Scooby, and Tax Cuts
po Books
Now Available!

Teachings of a Three Year Old... Turned Tyke,
by Hal Evan Caplan.

A father learns from the wisdom of his toddler.

More Information.

More by Dear Jon
Sort 433: Going on Sabbatical
Miss Me? Let me know!
by Dear Jon, 6/15/10
Sort 432: Jokes and Horse Names
and other Random One Liners
by Dear Jon, 6/8/10
Sort 431: Piggy Tossing
and the new touring show: "Lord of the Flies."
by Dear Jon, 6/1/10
Sort 430: Forwarding Fear
Spam with a side of mashed logic
by Dear Jon, 5/25/10
Sort 429, Mixing Oil and Water
is like mixing politics and humor. All you get is a sticky mess and a lot of upset environmentalists.
by Dear Jon, 5/18/10
Sort 428: Handling the Truth
And other lessons for cable channels
by Dear Jon, 5/11/10
Sort 427: Dear Jon Knew When to Shut Up
by Dear Jon, 5/4/10
» Complete List (462)

RSS Feed for Dear Jon: RSS Feed for Dear Jon

Recently Published
View Article Be Sure Your Sins Will Find You Out
The transgressions of youth and social media follow us
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 10/12/18
So Who are We to Judge?
A timely question
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 10/4/18
Tiger, Tiger Burning Bright
An amazing comeback for a disgraced golfer
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 9/28/18
Bert and Ernie are Not Gay!
Attempting to make sense of a senseless claim
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 9/21/18
A Prayer for Hurricane Victims
Asking God to calm the storm
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 9/14/18
Are We Ready for Some Football?
A rhetorical question as the NFL season kicks off
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 9/7/18
A "Dear John" Letter to Senator McCain
An expression of thanks for a remarkable leader
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 8/31/18

Get the Partial Observer's
'recently published' headlines via RSS.

RSS Feed for Recently Published PO Articles    What is RSS?

Reproduction of original material from The Partial Observer without written permission is strictly prohibited.
The opinions expressed by site contributors do not necessarily reflect those of the editors.
Copyright ©2000-2018 partialobserver.com. All rights reserved.
Home · Site Map · Top