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Valentine's Day 2007

Dysfunction - Is this the new American Condition?

by Michael H. Thomson
February 14, 2007

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Valentine's Day 2007
Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!  Let's get today started with a story I just read in the New York Post. It seems a man named Malik Cupid, who celebrates his birthday today, stole his sweetheart's identity and absconded with $1400 of her cash. Additionally, he used her AOL identity to do who knows what, online. His valentine was serving in Iraq while Cupid was doing all this. This wouldn't be news except that Malik Cupid's occupation is listed as chief of staff for the New Jersey Secretary of State.
 
As most of us remember, before the elections, Congressman Mark Foley was intensely scrutinized for bizarre instant messages and emails, which he had with congressional pages. Poor Mark was looking for "love" in all the wrong places. Prior to these revelations, Foley was at the top of the congressional "cloud." He was a committee chair in the majority party. It doesn't get too much better on Capitol Hill. Resigning in disgrace and contributing his small part to a sea change in Congress, I doubt we'll ever hear too much from Mark Foley again, that is, until a suitable amount of time has passed for the tell-all book to become a best seller. That's the great thing about America, there's opportunity even in adversity.  Maybe opportunity will present itself in the dilemma of Lisa Marie Nowak.
 
A few weeks ago, Lisa Nowak was at the top of her game as a famous astronaut. In her personal life, she was the mother of three children and supposedly, happily married. Image in the space program is everything. Our astronauts, according to NASA, are supposed to be the purest of the pure. In Lisa Nowak's case, something went terribly wrong. Harboring an obsessive "love" for fellow astronaut Navy Cmdr, William Oefelein, Lisa drove 900 miles from Houston to Orlando to intercept a "rival" and possibly kidnap her. Clad in a diaper to avoid pit stop delays on her journey, Lisa wore a wig and a trench coat and stalked her rival, Air Force Captain Colleen Shipman from the airport shuttle to the parking lot. Lisa's career is over and NASA is doing its best to put a positive spin on the situation. I wish them luck.
 
We would have heard and learned more about Lisa Nowak if Anna Nicole Smith hadn't dropped dead. Within minutes of her death, the late blonde bombshell dominated the news cycle. The life and death of the former Playboy model will have great news play for months to come. Her child is so young that there is no way she will ever remember her mother. The sadness of this story is that it is not difficult to perceive that most of her life Anna was not loved too much by anyone. However, because of her wealth, and her potential for more wealth from the estate of her late husband, no less than three men are claiming to be the father of Anna Nicole's child - an heiress at birth. There is even a story floating that Anna Nicole Smith's pregnancy resulted from the implantation of her late husband's sperm. If that proves true, then a new legal complication is added to Anna Nicole's legal fight which transcends death.
 
Meanwhile, the Iraq War still rages, thousands are illegally crossing our borders, Nancy Pelosi is worried about the size of her government supplied aircraft, and G.W. is starting to resemble more and more, the famous "What, me worry?" cartoon character from MAD magazine, Alfred E. Neuman.
 
Happy Valentine's Day!

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Rita from Fairhope, Alabama writes:
February 14, 2007
Really good one, Mike. I knew about all of them except this Stupid Cupid fellow, so thanks for sharing that. You're so right when you say we would have heard much more about Astronaut Lisa had Anna Nicole not made her untimely exit. I agree with you on that topic as well. That poor girl so obviously needed love... and help. I feel so sorry for the baby. In a way, I hope she turns out to be the child of the long-dead husband. It should be easy enough to get his DNA, since he won't object at this point - unlike Howard K. Stern. His refusing to provide his DNA to settle the issue speaks volumes.

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