Home
Loading
  Contact Us    
Horoscope for the Week of August 19, 2001

Bad news for western states.


by Jon Deer
August 19, 2001

Bookmark and Share


Horoscope for the Week of August 19, 2001_Jon Deer-Bad news for western states. Hello. In this week's horoscope, the spirit of my previous life, Bel-Darius Jonas, has gotten out of the zodiac mode, because of the incredible activity occuring in the astral plane. It is a relief to know that something is happening somewhere, since nothing has been going on in the news. This week:

Many of you who had birthdays last week will still be receiving cards this week. Some of them will carry apologies for being late. Some of them will not acknowledge that they are late. None of them will contain any money, but it is always a good idea to tip the envelope, just in case.

Do not be surprised by increases in your grown child's college tuition.

If you have red hair and freckles, August is still Summer enough to wear sunscreen when you go outside.

Expect Nebraska Football Fans to appear out of the woodwork with obnoxious colors and braggery in anticipation of the season opener this Saturday against Texas Christian University. Also, expect ESPN to profile major police-busts of football players at leading NCAA Division I schools this week. Nobody else will die from heat-stroke during practice this season, however. Well, probably not, anyway.

Fires will continue to burn in western states.

Rival factions in war-torn 3rd World nations will desecrate the American Flag this week. The first faction will be protesting too much American involvement, what with trade agreements and loans that the dastardly Capitalist/Great Satan thinks ought to be paid back, when the money, as any arrogant Gringo/Yankee Zionist ought to be culturally sensitive enough to know, has already been spent on kick-backs to the Generalissimo's/Mullah's ruling cabinet, since corruption is the only economy that works.

The second group of them will burn our flag because America is not involved enough, as we hoarde our money and invest in strategic priorities, like NATO expansion and self-defense against enemy missiles, instead of giving it all to the Generalissimo's/Mullah's police force to "fight the war on drugs" and create an infrastructure that would allow the harvest of the Annual Bean Crop in disputed, rebel-held territories. The third faction will be burning our flag out of a general sense that, if both the other groups which are bitter enemies of each other are blaming Americans, than both those groups must be right, and everything wrong with their country must be America's fault.

The fourth faction will be burning our flag because we have the military power to send "Peace-Keepers" into the middle of their Yankee-hating, Gringo-baiting, drug-dealing chaos, and we don't do it.

And that's the horoscope for the week of August 19. Reader Poll: How accurate has Bel-Darius Jonas been? Let me know!

(0 Comments)
Post a Comment

Send Us Your Opinion
(Comments are moderated.)
Your Name:*


Your E-Mail Address:*
(Confidential. Will not be published.)


Location:


Comments:*
Note: In order to control automated spam submissions, URLs are no longer permitted in this form.



Verification:
Please type the letters you see above.

  Printer-Friendly

Bookmark and Share


EMAIL ALERTS
Sign up to receive an e-mail notice when new articles by this author are published. Your address remains confidential, and you may cancel at any time. A confirmation email will be sent.

Your e-mail address:
Horoscope for the Week of August 19, 2001
po Books
Now Available!

Teachings of a Three Year Old... Turned Tyke,
by Hal Evan Caplan.

A father learns from the wisdom of his toddler.

More Information.

More by Jon Deer
Apocalypse of Jon Deer
Chapter 5: Before the Final Battle.
by Jon Deer, 9/17/04
Apocalypse, the Next Installment
A vision of the End Zones continued.
by Jon Deer, 1/17/04
The Apocalypse of Jon Deer
A Vision of the End Zones.
by Jon Deer, 11/24/03
He Won't Come Back
by Jon Deer, 9/18/01
Horoscope for Week of September 9
Attn.: Concerned American
by Jon Deer, 9/9/01
Horoscope for Week of September 2
The meaning of Yabba Dabba Doo.
by Jon Deer, 9/3/01
Horoscope for Week of August 26
What goes up must come down.
by Jon Deer, 8/27/01
» Complete List (13)


Recently Published
View Article Salvator Mundi
Not the painting but the Person
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 12/7/17
When the Newsman Becomes News
Lamenting yet another fallen hero
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 12/1/17
Let's Hear It for Moms and Pops
Celebrating Small Business Saturday in a very personal way
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 11/22/17
An Earthquake in La La Land
Examining what's been exposed in the rubble
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 11/17/17
Where is God?
Reflecting on the tragedy in a little Texas town
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 11/10/17
An All Saints Day Tribute
Remembering those who left us
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 11/3/17
A Mighty Fortress was His God
Remembering the legacy of Martin Luther 500 years later
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 10/27/17

Get the Partial Observer's
'recently published' headlines via RSS.


RSS Feed for Recently Published PO Articles    What is RSS?

Reproduction of original material from The Partial Observer without written permission is strictly prohibited.
The opinions expressed by site contributors do not necessarily reflect those of the editors.
Copyright ©2000-2017 partialobserver.com. All rights reserved.
Home · Site Map · Top