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Questions for Muslims.

by Dear Jon
October 9, 2001

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87th Sort_Dear Jon-Questions for Muslims. ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON:

Dear Jon,

When are guys too old to be wearing baseball caps backwards?

Cap wearer

Dear Cap wearer,

No guy is ever too old to look like a dork.


Dear Jon,

I have watched people's (especially Christians) reactions to President Bush since the crisis. I have heard it said a number of times that it is great that there is a "man of God" in the White House, leading our nation at this time. Is he really the last great hope for Christianity, is he the anti-Christ, or is he merely reflecting the mix of patriotism, the American Dream, and a watered down religiosity which is so prevelent in our society?

A Concerned Cynic

Dear Cynic,

As far as what President Bush has himself professed, I do not doubt his sincerity. As far as what President Bush is "reflecting," I go with the "mix of patrioitism... watered down religiosity" you said is "so prevalent in our society".

Americans project many things on their President. Because the United States has no religious affiliation, the belief-systems of its presidents complicate their stature before the American people. While Bush might be able to parlay with Billy Graham on Graham's terms, when Bush addresses the whole nation, his many explicit beliefs are secondary to the generic consumer spiritualism of the American public.

It is important to remember that our presidents do not represent any particular religious belief when they act in the interests of our security. This is important to remember, because apparently this concept is utterly lost on a great portion of the Muslim world.

A number of issues surface as we look at our military action in Afghanistan. Apparently, and at this point this can only be termed an "Internet Rumor," but apparently there have been Pakistani religious legislators calling for reprisals against their own "Christian" population because of America's strikes against the Taliban.

In my typically western-patterned logic, which as we all been told is imperialistic and insensitive, I would like to pose the following questions to Muslims around the world:

IF reports of state-ignored or state-sponsored reprisals against Christian minorities in the Muslim world are, in fact, true:

1. Is a Westerner as safe in the Arab world as an Arab is in the United States? If not, what does that say about YOU?

2. Is a Christian as safe in the Muslim world as a Muslim is in the United States? If not, what does that say about YOU?

3. If you could possibly, just for the sake of argument, grasp the meaning of the "separation between Church and State," could you please try to fathom the utter innocence of Pakistani or Indonesian Christians; that they are thoroughly and completely divorced from the setting of policy by our thoroughly secularized American government?

4. Would you really want to fight on the basis of reprisals? After all, if Pakistan were to turn its back on its Christian minority as Muslim mobs beat Christian restaurant owners to death (supposing the rumors are true)than they would be, in fact, sponsoring terrorism themselves. This would make them an enemy of the U.S., not because the victims are Christians, but because the victims are terrorized.

5. Do any of you remember this little Muslim enclave called "Bosnia"? Do any of you recollect how American forces stepped in to defend Bosnia's Muslims from the genocidal terrorism of a nominally "Christian" monster named Milosevic? Hello? Does any of this sink in?

6. If you really, really want to go all-out, do you have the nuclear capability that we do? Should we do you all a favor and blast a billion of Earth's citizens to Paradise, the reward for your Jihad, right away? Gosh, then you would all be in Heaven, and Earth would have no more Jihad. Everybody wins!

7. Of course, to do that, we secularized western governments would be blasting Pakistani and Indonesian Christians along with everybody else. But that would be "acceptable collateral damage." BECAUSE CHRISTIAN MINORITIES IN YOUR COUNTRIES HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE POLICIES WE SET. DO YOU UNDERSTAND YET?

8. Besides, if NATO went "nuclear" on your Jihad, it is not as though God would deprive the world COMPLETELY of Islam. God would preserve for you a remnant: 6 million Muslims living in peace and safety in the United States, plus millions more in Canada, England, France, and Germany, plus all those Palestinians in the Authority, because there is NO WAY the U.S. would drop nukes so close to Israel. Figure that one out!

9. But why should you figure anything out? Satire and irony and desperate pleas for humanity toward your own citizens must be, in fact, western imperialistic rationalism.

10. Meanwhile, 6 million Muslim citizens of the United States are being actively protected from ethnophobic violence. The FBI has committed task forces to investigate the few and sporadic "hate crimes" which, in our secularized demonic country, carry worse penalties than typical vandalism, thievery and murder.

11. Just so we understand each other: You want to destroy the United States, which officially has no religious affiliation, and because it does not, is a safe place for Muslim immigrants to freely practice their faith and pursue the blessings of human dignity and liberty. When the United States defends itself from aggression, you want to then turn on Christian minorities in your own countries, while 6 million of your own brethren dwell in the United States in peace and safety.

12. Assuming the rumors are true, for the sake of argument. But hopefully the rumors are not true. Hopefully, the Muslim citizens of the world are proving themselves to be of a superior ethical and intellectual humanity than we secularized western barbarians. Hopefully, the Muslim citizens of the world see this time as an opportunity to express the true messages and meanings of the Qu'ran, messages of peace and light. Hopefully, the Muslim citizens of the world are as humiliated and embarrassed by the hate-mongers in their midst, as Americans are embarrassed by the Ku Klux Klan and Timothy McVeigh.

13. Hopefully, the rumors are not true. You really, really, don't want the rumors to be true. Do you?

14. Why do I get the feeling that this is completely lost on you? Why do I get the feeling that your propogandists, trolling around the Internet, will print and circulate only the most sensationalizing points, and completely ignore the context of the whole? Perhaps because "context" is itself a western, imperialistic rationalism.

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