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91st Sort

Is it okay to root against New York teams yet?

by Dear Jon
October 30, 2001

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91st Sort_Dear Jon-Is it okay to root against New York teams yet? ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON:

Dear Jon,

Is it ok to root against New York teams yet?

Non-New York fan

Dear Non,

Yes. Go Diamondbacks!

Dear Readers: We seem to have run out of actual letters. It is possible that the "technical difficulty" we posted over the week-end, has to do with a couple letters I thought I had received but then I could not find them. The Webmaster could not find them either. If you had sent Dear Jon an Actual Letter recently, and it has not been posted, please do not take it personally.

Meanwhile, we are getting close to the 100th Sort. So look back over the classics and let me know your favorites.

Since a letter has been printed, I might as well write something a little bit more and make you all feel like you actually got Dear Jon today. So I have a word of advice for U.S. diplomacy. We allowed the U.N. to stipulate that the coalition was not to conquer Iraq and remove Saddam Hussein from power. We have allowed Hussein to postpone, delay, and harass inspectors at his weapons development facilities. We are now finded trace elements of a signature Iraqi chemical additive in the anthrax.

IF it is established that Iraq is behind the anthrax attack, my advice is this:

Ignore the U.N., Arab public opinion, West Bank flag-burners, mult-lateral unity, or anything else. Take Hussein down. Take him down hard. Take him down fast. Give him martyrdom, give him Paradise, but give it to him in a pine box. Not that he believes in martyrdom or Paradise anyway because he is actually a pagan atheist that any Jihad extremist true to his own principles would want to take down, but oh well, that is just another example of my insensitive western imperialistic rationalism.

Sometimes it is a bad thing to make a martyr out of a villain. History has also shown us, however, that sometimes it is strategic to cut off the head from the body. It seems to me that relations with Iran have not been so horrible as they were when the Ayatollah was alive. Am I wrong? Take Hussein down, then deal. That's my advice -- IF Hussein is behind the anthrax attack.

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