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If the phone rings in the middle of the night

by Dear Jon
March 18, 2008

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ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON:

Dear Jon,

So why don't you settle it for us all? Billary, or Obama?

Gratefully,
A fan


Dear Fan,

At the risk of getting flamed by James LeRoy Wilson, I am going to give the Republican Party some advice.

First of all, thank you for putting Mitt Romney on ice.

Second, with McCain the presumptive, assumptive, consumptive nominee, it is time to pull your heads out of the sand. You absolutely positively have to put one of these to be his running mate: Condi Rice, or Colin Powell.

Here is why: Because neither Hilary Clinton nor Barak Obama are as experienced as the ring fingers of either of these. Both Rice and Powell have what Barak is seen to lack: EXPERIENCE IN EXECUTIVE STATE-CRAFT. With their years of experience they also bring to the table what Clinton and Obama bring to the table which no one wants to talk about but which Dear Jon will. Repulicans, why don't you appreicate that Dear Jon is going to name the "Elephant" in the room?

Ahem: Barak Obama is a black man. Hilary Clinton is a female.

Powell or Rice on the ticket makes that a NON-ISSUE for the Democrats.

Or, to put it another way: I, Dear Jon, do solemnly swear that I absolutely believe that a history-making executive elected ticket will do far more for the nation in terms of its domestic tranquility and its image abroad, than any performance of either major party's agenda. In other words, Dear Senator McCain, if you bring on a white guy to be your running mate: Sorry. I will actually vote for the history-making ticket that represents what the United States actually looks like on the streets and in the work-place.

Yes, it DOES matter. Republicans that want to pretend that it does not or should not matter, need to wake up and smell the morning blend.

Here is the point: In Rice and in Powell the Republicans have gold. These are two people who are able to be President themselves (Dear Jon's fantasy dating back to 1996 when the Republicans put up the WRONG DOLE to face Clinton's re-election) and are more than able to be a "heart-beat" away from the Presidency, Senator McCain, no offense, but if you go two terms you will eclipse Reagan in the category of geriatric presidencies. In your case, McCain, your choice of running mate will mean EVERYTHING to whether or not you get my vote.

And frankly, Republicans, who else do you have? Can you justify putting up Senator Joe White from MiddleState as a running mate? Name one person more qualified than either of these BLACK people.

If Rice or Powell don't want it, threaten them with a week-end at Dick Cheney's hunting lodge. One of them has GOT TO DO THIS.

Imagine the possibilities: A former Secretary of State is now Vice-President! They can travel the world on message, a familiar face on the world stage, an evolution in the operations of the State Department itself.

What a great ad this would make: "If the phone rings in the middle of the night with a crisis in a global hot-spot, President McCain will be able to say, 'Get Condi on the line right away. Ms. Rice? Can you handle this please?"

That is pretty hard for either Hilary or Barak to get past.

Did I mention they are Black? Did I mention that this is important? Have you noticed that Condi is a female, much the same as Hilary is rumored to be?

Just in case people still want to ignore that dimension of the race: Colin and Condi are African American. They are black. Blackblackblackblack. He's black. She's black. They are both black. And you, McCain, have the opportunity to make history.

For the love of America, Senator McCain, please please please don't blow it.

This is the opportunity for both parties, with the full integrity of legitimate candidates (because, McCain, WHO ELSE IS THERE THAT WOULD BE BETTER? NOBODY!!!) to drive racist chauvinist @#$%-heads to the margins of American politics forever. Imagine, McCain, that no one at any secret Klan meeting will be able to say, "I hate him, but at least he and his running mate are white." How sweet to be distanced from those creeps forever.

By alienating the last vestiges of White Supremacist Bigotry from the Republican Party (ironic that they are even around, considering why the Republicans got started) would Powell or Rice make you therefore less electable? Not unless I'm the only conservative in the world who sees their elected role as good for the nation strategically and domestically. Dear Jon is thinking globally and locally. I think that there are like-minded conservatives who are awaiting your choice of running mate with bated breath.

What about another ethnicity being represented? Yes, that can be considered. An American of Asian heritage or from among our Indigenous nations or of Latin-Hispanic heritage might be considered. But whom? Do not even consider that twit who wrote up the memo on why we can ignore the Geneva Conventions, okay? I think he was Attorney General for a while. Stay far far away from him. You can see I blocked his name from my mind and Dear Jon doesn't look anything up.

Oh by the way, to answer this letter I think the Democrats should tone down the internal vitriol and toss a coin at their convention. If the Republicans blow the chance of the century, the Democrats will make history and make it big in 2008.

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