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The Rhyme of the Basement Mariners

Eulogizing one of the worst teams in major league history; Plus: Batter Up

by Greg Asimakoupoulos
September 26, 2008

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The Rhyme of the Basement Mariners

The Rhyme of the Basement Mariners
Eulogizing one of the worst teams in major league history.

One team is two disgusting
to describe in PG words.
Three outs may well end an inning,
but the bleeding's undeterred.

Four balls let you walk to first base.
Putz will likely take the fifth.
Even Niehaus needs a six pack
to pretend the truth's a myth.

Seventh inning stretches used to
be a time to celebrate.
But this year the game's decided
before inning number eight.

While it's true cats have nine chances
to bounce back before they die,
our team's dead. They're cellar dwellers.
With their payroll we ask WHY?

As they usually say at Wrigley,
"Just you wait until next year!"
But that seems too trite at Safeco.
We need major changes here.

* J. J. Putz is the Mariners' erratic closer. Last year he was a hero with 40 saves. This year Putz has been anything but a hero.

** Dave Niehaus has been the Mariners' play-by-play announcer since the team's debut in the American League in 1977. This past summer he was inducted in the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame as one of the best baseball broadcasters of all time.

*** The 2008 Mariners are the first major league team with a payroll of over $100 million to lose at least 100 games in a season.
 

Batter Up
A creative alternative to presidential debates.

Forget debates. Let's have a slug fest
in historic Fenway Park.
Who can clear the big Green Monster?
Grab a bat and eye the mark.
 
"Mick" McCain can't reach the fences.
Something 'bout an injury.
Says he got it as a prisoner
standing up for liberty.
 
All the same he has the knowledge
how to loft a ball that far.
Having been around the bases,
he's the only real all-star.
 
"Babe" Obama sure looks pretty
in his well-pressed baseball pants.
But he just stands there (bat on shoulder)
in his "Aren't I handsome?" stance.
 
Neither one has home run power.
Still let's watch them try to hit.
One will likely make SOME contact.
One will scratch and chew and spit.

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ELM from 98801 writes:
September 28, 2008
RE: Musing on Presidential Debate.

Exit polls show McCain batted poorly. Poetic fantasy about McCain having it over Obama is fools play. McCain's bat is caked with dirt from slinging mud. Why make fun of Obama's clothes or his being handsome? Being handsome and well-dressed as well as well-educated, kind, peacefull, truthfull, diplomatic and articulate are real fine assets. Twas obvious during the debate that John McCain was way out of his league. Oh well, he never was at the head of his class either, don't expect it now.

The reason for continual corruption in Washington is voters not being able to read candidates; lthat ack of discernment is a blight. McCain lies with a straight face; his talk is anything but straight. This country does not need to rplace a con-man with another one. Voter ignorance is not bliss and for the most part why this country is in the shape it is in today. What goes around, comes around. And it has! America has been weakened by voting in lying polititians time and again. By their fruits, ye shall know them. PAST time to wise up!!!!! EXPERIANCE can be a bad thing! According to American history, the greatest of U.S presidents elected all had these same qualities: (1) courage to stay strong. (2) self confidence. (3) ability to learn from errors. (4) willingness to change. (5) emotional intelligence. (6) self-control. (7) popular touch. (8) moral compass. (9) capacity to relax. (10) gift for inspiring. ~~~Barack Obama has all 10 operating~~~


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PO BOOKS BY GREG ASIMAKOUPOULOS
Sunday Rhymes & Reasons
Published June 4, 2009

Sunday Rhymes and Reasons is a compilation of inspirational poetry by America's pastor/poet laureate, Greg Asimakoupoulos. In this, his third volume of poetry, Pastor Greg paints word pictures that portray both the struggle and fulfillment that define a life of faith. His repertoire of rhymes celebrate rite-of-passage occasions like birth, baptism, marriage and death as well as the major holidays of the church and culture. It is a volume that illustrates the poet's love of words and of popular culture. The author dips his brush into a paint box of hubris, humor and honesty.

"Gloria and I have been encouraged by word pictures from Greg's pen that have celebrated both our ministry and God's presence in our world."Bill Gaither, Gospel music composer/performer

"Gifted poet Greg Asimakoupoulos is a dear friend of our family. His poetry blesses, comforts, entertains, and provides inspiration for every season of life."Natalie Grant, singer/songwriter/recording artist

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