Dumb and Dumber
Not the movie, but this senseless presidential campaign
This campaign's way too long for me.
It's dumb and getting dumber.
We're focusing on two strange Joes.
The Six Pack and the Plumber.
A weatherman named Bill is back.
The forecast's outta sight.
There's Tony Rezko, Troopergate
and Jeremiah Wright.
There's hockey moms that wear lipstick
and pigs with different shades
that pale in contrast to a Gov
who looks like Tina Fey.
The prophet Louis Farrakhan
says B O's the Messiah.
It seems that Oprah thinks that too.
I'd call that blasphemia.
Just twelve more days and then we vote.
Oh promise me that's true.
I'm sick to death of slinging mud.
I'm nauseous. Aren't you?
Rays Shine in the Sun
Once they left the Devil in the dust
From worst to first in just one year.
The Rays are beaming bright.
The A L Cinderella team
wears crystal shoes tonight.
This fairytale began last fall.
The boss had faith. And then
he forced the Devil from the Rays
and they began to win.
The old was gone. The new had come.
New name and sense of worth.
A miracle the faithful say.
A genuine rebirth.
The Sunshine State is aptly named.
It really love its Rays
who shine with hope and faith and grace
on these October days.
And there's a lesson we can learn
from down in Tampa Bay.
Resist the Devil. Start brand new.
And then (with joy) just play.
* Curiously, the worst team in Major League Baseball last year became the best team in the American League this year. It all took place after the team owners removed the Devil from team's name last November. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays began the 2008 season as The Tampa Bay Rays.