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A Fellow Columnist Writes

by Dear Jon
March 19, 2002

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Sort 125_Dear Jon-A Fellow Columnist Writes ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON:

Dear Jon,
Regarding your poll. To even ask what women want is to assume that most women want the same thing. I think what any person wants - i.e., her desires, values, and goals, or everything that she believes will make her happier, is entirely up to the individual. Which means it can not be descriptive of a category (such as gender, nationality, etc.) as a whole.

My judgment is happy marriages begin with the man and woman in agreement of wanting the same things. As in, "I want what my wife wants" and "I want what my husband wants," instead of "I want what everyone else of my gender (or nation, or ethnicity, etc.) wants."

All that said, all good humor writing is premised on generalities which most people can identify. In that vein, I think you, Dear Jon, do know what women want and that you are, indeed, a male chauvinist pig.

Sincerely,
James Leroy Wilson


Dear James,

Thank you for writing. I hope that despite the long hours of effort you poured into your reasoned argument, that you will still be able to meet your own deadline of tomorrow, since I read you faithfully. And, just to return the compliment, I assure you that I find you almost as funny as I find William F. Buckley.

I happened to vote "Yes" to knowing what women want and "No" to being a male chauvinist pig. My reasoning is that women do not want men to be male chauvinist pigs, so since I know what women want I am deliberately extra sensitive to their needs, as is evident throughout the 125 sorts of my column.

I believe that the voters will vindicate me. I believe that the vast silent majority of the PO's female readership will affirm that, despite being in touch with my thoroughly masculine self-identity, that I am also in touch with their needs. In short, that I "feel their pain."

So readers, vote early and vote often. We will post the results on Friday or whenever the Webmaster decides to get around to it. Who has your pulse, ladies? Has James Leroy Wilson adequately expressed your sentiments about Dear Jon, or have I?

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