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Sauna 2: Annoying



by Casey White
April 25, 2002

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Sauna 2: Annoying_Casey White- "Would you please turn it down?" I point to my ears.
He gives a more intent look and shakes his head to imply, "I don't hear you."

My voice raised, "Your headset. Won't you please turn it down?"
He pulls one headphone cup off of his left ear, and stares at me, thumb-wheeling the volume down slightly.

Now quite a bit louder, I say, "Your radio. Can you turn it down?!"
"Why?"

Hmmm. I didn't have an immediate answer. I thought he would just comply.
"Because.. it is.. so loud.. that I can hear it."

"So?"

Hmmm. Hadn't figured on that either.
"Well... I don't.. want.. to hear it. It should be quiet in here!" I thought I had him on this point. He clearly was violating an unwritten sauna rule.

He frowned, then put his headset back on, and turned the volume back up to the original level. Battle lost. I award him 5 "annoyance points," and close my eyes. It becomes clear to me that I can even make out the distinct words of the rockers. Make that 10 annoyance points.

Lucky me. Alone in the sauna with an annoying middle-aged man sporting a crew cut, built like a football lineman, and used to having his own way. Sure am glad I came early today! He jumped down from the top bench, radio blaring, and begins to do stretching excercises. Having kept my head bent down, I now open my eyes in a squint as he stretches out and begins to quickly move his arms in small circles, away from both sides of his body. The repetitive motion from his right hand is only a foot from my head. Ten points. Now the other direction. 10 more points. And back again, getting closer. A bonus of 25 more annoyance points is awarded!

Arms now to his sides and fluttering his hands, he begins to jump up and down to the beat of the music. I'm thinking that he should register for the aerobics class. 50 points for being in the wrong room! But what catches my attention is that the short antenna rising from the bright yellow headphones is springy, and begins to bounce with the motion as well. Instantly, I have a flashback to John Belushi in a Saturday Night Live sketch, where he is dressed up like a bumble bee with spring-attached antennae. We have now passed into entertainment, something I was not seeking. As I edge my way around him toward the door, I award him the grand jackpot of 1000 more annoyance points, and laughed out loud as I closed the door: "Ridiculous!"

Too bad he couldn't hear me.

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Sauna 2: Annoying
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