Contact Us    
Sort 168

In the News.

by Dear Jon
September 3, 2002

Bookmark and Share

Sort 168_Dear Jon-In the News. Dear Readers, I promised I would respond to this on Tuesday, so here it is. Despite my plea last Friday I did not receive new letters.


Dear Jon,

Is it the responsibility of a good citizen to keep up with the news of the day, at least to be generally aware of the major goings on about the world, near and far? What do you recommend as the best source for news?

Painfully Aware

Dear Painful,

Yes, citizens and non-citizens, good and bad, should keep up with current events. The best news for Americans are the BBC broadcasts carried by some of our PBS affiliates. These broadcasts provide the advantage of a non-U.S. viewpoint on the world. Viewers in England should watch American news programs. France should watch Canadian news, and Canadians should watch Mexican news.

The best source of news is NOT the internet, not even forwarded e-mail messages. The papers available in the Supermarket Check-out that feature pictures of Presidents shaking hands with aliens should be read with skepticism.

Other places not to get news: Gallery openings (HEADLINE-- Religious Right Conspiracy Plans Boycott of All Art Featuring Smeared Feces), fringe party political rallies (HEADLINE-- Facscists Spend $15,000 Tax Dollars for Paint Job at Social Security Administration Building), UHF Television shows featuring End of the World prophets (HEADLINE, Peace In Europe Bad News for Christians, Great News for Spawn of Satan), faculty meetings (HEADLINE-- Reactionary Back-lash Undermines Affirmative Core Values), shock radio (HEADLINE-- Couple Does “It” at Public Fountain!).

If you have been junking yourself for news from the internet and shock radio, here is a score-card on current events.


Look for a large number of heart-warming stories about courage and rebuilding over the next week-and-a-half.

BREAKING NEWS!!!! Mosquitos are a hassle.

Fires Destroy Lives. Droughts Destroy Lives. Floods Destroy Lives. Thin Elderly Man Shrugs Shoulders and Vows to Rebuild. Tear-Streaked Mother of Four Laments Loss of Photo Albums.

I never get it straight. Are we dealing with El Nino or El Nina this Fall?

Baseball Fans Threaten Walk-out: Strike Averted.

Small-minded And Stupid People Vow To Earn Nation Status By Strapping Bombs to their Belts and Blowing Up Buses.

Small -minded And Stupid People Vow To Protect Corrupt and Murderous National Spokesman.

World Community Rallies Around Small-minded and Stupid Leaders Because Small-minded and Stupid People Can Provide No One More Legitimate Than These Insane Criminals to Rule Them.

Rumsfeld Wants War and to Heck with the U.N..
Powell Wants Peace and to Heck with Israel.
Cheney Wants Power and to Heck with Congress.
Rice Wants Job in Second Administration.
Bush Wants Dad to Tell Him What To Do.

War On Terrorism FBI Update:
FBI Blacken Its Own Eyes
FBI Shoots Self in Both Feet.

Hundreds Held Without Trial. Courts Unhappy. ACLU Unhappy. Everyone Else Okay With It. Prisoners at Marine Base Not Treated as Lawful American Citizens. Courts Unhappy. ACLU Unhappy. Everyone Else Okay With It..
Hundreds of Taliban Prisoners of War Die in Northern Alliance Boxcars. American Public Couldn’t Care Less, Including this Writer.

NFL Play Begins for Houston, Texas and Champagne, Illinois Expansion Franchises.

Labor Days Ends Summer. Everyone Bummed Out.

Post a Comment

Send Us Your Opinion
(Comments are moderated.)
Your Name:*

Your E-Mail Address:*
(Confidential. Will not be published.)


Note: In order to control automated spam submissions, URLs are no longer permitted in this form.

Please type the letters you see above.


Bookmark and Share

Dear Jon Letters: Tips for Dating and Mating
Temporarily Unavailable
Published July 21, 2008

Our advice humorist turns his attention and trademark wit to affairs of the heart in his first and very affordable book (only $8.95!).

More Information
RSS Feed for Dear Jon: RSS Feed for Dear Jon
Sign up to receive an e-mail notice when new articles by this author are published. Your address remains confidential, and you may cancel at any time. A confirmation email will be sent.

Your e-mail address:
Sort 168
po Books
Now Available!

Teachings of a Three Year Old... Turned Tyke,
by Hal Evan Caplan.

A father learns from the wisdom of his toddler.

More Information.

More by Dear Jon
Sort 433: Going on Sabbatical
Miss Me? Let me know!
by Dear Jon, 6/15/10
Sort 432: Jokes and Horse Names
and other Random One Liners
by Dear Jon, 6/8/10
Sort 431: Piggy Tossing
and the new touring show: "Lord of the Flies."
by Dear Jon, 6/1/10
Sort 430: Forwarding Fear
Spam with a side of mashed logic
by Dear Jon, 5/25/10
Sort 429, Mixing Oil and Water
is like mixing politics and humor. All you get is a sticky mess and a lot of upset environmentalists.
by Dear Jon, 5/18/10
Sort 428: Handling the Truth
And other lessons for cable channels
by Dear Jon, 5/11/10
Sort 427: Dear Jon Knew When to Shut Up
by Dear Jon, 5/4/10
» Complete List (462)

RSS Feed for Dear Jon: RSS Feed for Dear Jon

Recently Published
View Article Nor Easter Alert
A troubling forecast for a nation in need of God
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 3/16/18
A Tribute to Mister Rogers' Neighborhood
Looking back to where it all began PLUS; There Goes the Neighborhood
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 3/9/18
A Prayer for the Washington State Legislature
Remembering Billy Graham's example
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 3/2/18
A Sentry of the Past Century
Remembering Billy Graham; PLUS, Cross Words
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 2/23/18
Another St. Valentine's Day Massacre
When will the craziness stop?
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 2/16/18
Speaking of the Winter Olympics
A prayer for our athletes and our world
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 2/9/18
A Call for Respect
Lessons from the State of the Union
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 2/2/18

Get the Partial Observer's
'recently published' headlines via RSS.

RSS Feed for Recently Published PO Articles    What is RSS?

Reproduction of original material from The Partial Observer without written permission is strictly prohibited.
The opinions expressed by site contributors do not necessarily reflect those of the editors.
Copyright ©2000-2018 partialobserver.com. All rights reserved.
Home · Site Map · Top