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Puppetry and Religion.

by Dear Jon
July 15, 2003

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Sort 225_Dear Jon-Puppetry and Religion. ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON:

Dear Jon,

With such plays as "The Vagina Monologues" and "Puppetry of the Penis" not only being advertised everywhere, but also getting good reviews, has society (or at least the theatre community) gone to heck in a handbasket? Now that words used to describe genitalia (male and female) are "mainstream," can we ever recover our innocence?


Dear Prude,

Yes, society has gone to heck in a handbasket. No, we can never recover our innocence.

Here are ten ways to know that society is going to heck in a handbasket.
  1. They brought back the VW Beetle, but they put the engine in the front.
  2. Poems that don’t rhyme.
  3. Gangsta-Pimp rap that rhymes all too well.
  4. Interleague play.
  5. A hockey team in Dallas and none in Minnesota.
  6. Lies about Saddam on par with the Blue Dress, Iran-Contra and Watergate.
  7. And nobody cares anymore.
  8. Sacred institutions that now need constitutional amendments to uphold definition.
  9. Custody battles between two men over their adopted child.
  10. Terminator 3.


Dear Jon,

Should Protestant Christians try to convert Catholics?


Dear Marty,

A good Protestant knows who really does the “converting.” Meanwhile, Catholics and Protestants who are not completely clueless regarding their own traditions can have lively discussions about points of agreement (the really important essential stuff) and disagreement (pretty big stuff). If the discussion is open, it is not wrong to engage the pretty big stuff.

Clues for the American Catholic:

If the Pope does not have the last word on your convictions (i.e., use of birth control, priests getting married, women becoming priests) you are a Protestant because you are in “protest” of the Pope’s authority to define your faith. You will try to argue with me but I don’t care about your opinion on this matter, and by the way, neither does the Pope.

Clues for the American Protestant:

If the Church is not an important part of your life, then you know neither the scriptures nor the will of God. You will try to say that your church is “nature” or that you can be with God in your living room watching baseball. You only say this because you know neither the scriptures nor the will of God.

Clues for the American Evangelical:

Then there’s that bit in the Bible that says that after you become a disciple, you will take up the cross that Jesus carried: a cross of political disempowerment and unjust affliction. Nowhere does Jesus promise that your voting bloc is entitled to deliver on a President. Nowhere does Jesus promise that you are guaranteed the good life in suburbia when the world Jesus wants to save is full of suffering and poverty.

Clues for the American Fundamentalist:

Doesn’t it bother you that nobody else in the Church believed the way you believe until 1840? This does not make you wrong, but it should sure make you a whole lot less certain.

Clues for the “Liberal” Religionist:

It is tough to join a conversation when you don’t believe in anything. You might be respected on the faculty, but if you are tired of hearing people preface their comments with “The Bible says” or “the position of the Church has been” then you will be tired an awful lot, and ignored except by everyone except your colleagues.

Now that you all have a clue, let the conversation begin.

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