Home
Loading
  Contact Us    
Sort 225

Puppetry and Religion.

by Dear Jon
July 15, 2003

Bookmark and Share


Sort 225_Dear Jon-Puppetry and Religion. ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON:

Dear Jon,

With such plays as "The Vagina Monologues" and "Puppetry of the Penis" not only being advertised everywhere, but also getting good reviews, has society (or at least the theatre community) gone to heck in a handbasket? Now that words used to describe genitalia (male and female) are "mainstream," can we ever recover our innocence?

Sincerely,
Prudence


Dear Prude,

Yes, society has gone to heck in a handbasket. No, we can never recover our innocence.

Here are ten ways to know that society is going to heck in a handbasket.
  1. They brought back the VW Beetle, but they put the engine in the front.
  2. Poems that don’t rhyme.
  3. Gangsta-Pimp rap that rhymes all too well.
  4. Interleague play.
  5. A hockey team in Dallas and none in Minnesota.
  6. Lies about Saddam on par with the Blue Dress, Iran-Contra and Watergate.
  7. And nobody cares anymore.
  8. Sacred institutions that now need constitutional amendments to uphold definition.
  9. Custody battles between two men over their adopted child.
  10. Terminator 3.


ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON:

Dear Jon,

Should Protestant Christians try to convert Catholics?

Sincerely,
Marty


Dear Marty,

A good Protestant knows who really does the “converting.” Meanwhile, Catholics and Protestants who are not completely clueless regarding their own traditions can have lively discussions about points of agreement (the really important essential stuff) and disagreement (pretty big stuff). If the discussion is open, it is not wrong to engage the pretty big stuff.

Clues for the American Catholic:

If the Pope does not have the last word on your convictions (i.e., use of birth control, priests getting married, women becoming priests) you are a Protestant because you are in “protest” of the Pope’s authority to define your faith. You will try to argue with me but I don’t care about your opinion on this matter, and by the way, neither does the Pope.

Clues for the American Protestant:

If the Church is not an important part of your life, then you know neither the scriptures nor the will of God. You will try to say that your church is “nature” or that you can be with God in your living room watching baseball. You only say this because you know neither the scriptures nor the will of God.

Clues for the American Evangelical:

Then there’s that bit in the Bible that says that after you become a disciple, you will take up the cross that Jesus carried: a cross of political disempowerment and unjust affliction. Nowhere does Jesus promise that your voting bloc is entitled to deliver on a President. Nowhere does Jesus promise that you are guaranteed the good life in suburbia when the world Jesus wants to save is full of suffering and poverty.

Clues for the American Fundamentalist:

Doesn’t it bother you that nobody else in the Church believed the way you believe until 1840? This does not make you wrong, but it should sure make you a whole lot less certain.

Clues for the “Liberal” Religionist:

It is tough to join a conversation when you don’t believe in anything. You might be respected on the faculty, but if you are tired of hearing people preface their comments with “The Bible says” or “the position of the Church has been” then you will be tired an awful lot, and ignored except by everyone except your colleagues.

Now that you all have a clue, let the conversation begin.

(0 Comments)
Post a Comment

Send Us Your Opinion
(Comments are moderated.)
Your Name:*


Your E-Mail Address:*
(Confidential. Will not be published.)


Location:


Comments:*
Note: In order to control automated spam submissions, URLs are no longer permitted in this form.



Verification:
Please type the letters you see above.

  Printer-Friendly

Bookmark and Share


PO BOOKS BY DEAR JON
Dear Jon Letters: Tips for Dating and Mating
Temporarily Unavailable
Published July 21, 2008

Our advice humorist turns his attention and trademark wit to affairs of the heart in his first and very affordable book (only $8.95!).

More Information
RSS FEED
RSS Feed for Dear Jon: RSS Feed for Dear Jon
EMAIL ALERTS
Sign up to receive an e-mail notice when new articles by this author are published. Your address remains confidential, and you may cancel at any time. A confirmation email will be sent.

Your e-mail address:
Sort 225
po Books
Now Available!

Teachings of a Three Year Old... Turned Tyke,
by Hal Evan Caplan.

A father learns from the wisdom of his toddler.

More Information.

More by Dear Jon
Sort 433: Going on Sabbatical
Miss Me? Let me know!
by Dear Jon, 6/15/10
Sort 432: Jokes and Horse Names
and other Random One Liners
by Dear Jon, 6/8/10
Sort 431: Piggy Tossing
and the new touring show: "Lord of the Flies."
by Dear Jon, 6/1/10
Sort 430: Forwarding Fear
Spam with a side of mashed logic
by Dear Jon, 5/25/10
Sort 429, Mixing Oil and Water
is like mixing politics and humor. All you get is a sticky mess and a lot of upset environmentalists.
by Dear Jon, 5/18/10
Sort 428: Handling the Truth
And other lessons for cable channels
by Dear Jon, 5/11/10
Sort 427: Dear Jon Knew When to Shut Up
Finally
by Dear Jon, 5/4/10
» Complete List (462)


RSS FEED
RSS Feed for Dear Jon: RSS Feed for Dear Jon

Recently Published
View Article May I Be Frank, Mr. President?
Challenging a double standard in the Oval Office
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 12/15/17
Salvator Mundi
Not the painting but the Person
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 12/7/17
When the Newsman Becomes News
Lamenting yet another fallen hero
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 12/1/17
Let's Hear It for Moms and Pops
Celebrating Small Business Saturday in a very personal way
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 11/22/17
An Earthquake in La La Land
Examining what's been exposed in the rubble
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 11/17/17
Where is God?
Reflecting on the tragedy in a little Texas town
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 11/10/17
An All Saints Day Tribute
Remembering those who left us
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 11/3/17

Get the Partial Observer's
'recently published' headlines via RSS.


RSS Feed for Recently Published PO Articles    What is RSS?

Reproduction of original material from The Partial Observer without written permission is strictly prohibited.
The opinions expressed by site contributors do not necessarily reflect those of the editors.
Copyright ©2000-2017 partialobserver.com. All rights reserved.
Home · Site Map · Top