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The Definition of Dorks, Types A and B.

by Dear Jon
August 5, 2003

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Sort 228_Dear Jon-The Definition of Dorks, Types A and B. ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON:

Dear Jon,

What is the difference between a TM, a (C) and a (R)?

Sincereley
TM


Dear TM,

You could probably look it up, which I never have. This does not make me less than certain about my assumptions, however.

An ® must be appended to a corporation that has registered its own name, such as the board game conglomerate Parker Brothers®. A ™ must follow any licensed product of that corporation, such as the Parker Brothers® board game RISK™. A © is the standard copyright notice which governs the intellectual property of the board game RISK™ by Parker Brothers®, such as the Rule Book© for RISK™ that includes strategies for playing and is explicit about taking Australia early.

Some corporations are named for their products, so that a ® could follow Coca Cola™ just as appropriately. (Coca Cola™ is a “trademark” of Coca Cola Company®.)

The reason this stuff matters is that corporate lawyers have the backing of multi-million dollar corporations, and you don’t, and neither do we at the PO, yet. That is why I try to be careful about intellectual property on the PO.

The Dear Jon articles are copyrighted by the author, as is explained somewhere on the PO where it also says, “Please note that authors do not get paid…” Once the Webmaster licenses the PO, then anytime “The PartialObserver” is mentioned it will require a ®. Were the PO to license Dear Jon as a subsidiary product, then the mere mention of Dear Jon would require a ™.

This means that I would get money, because we could start offering licensed products, such as “Dear Jon” t-shirts, coffee mugs, engraved pens, autographed footballs, and maybe my own line of corn chips. We could also put together “Dear Jon’s Look-it-Up-Yourself Encyclopedia of All the Facts of Any Use to Anybody and Nothing Else.” My personal favorite project, based on my career in the helping professions, is “Dear Jon’s Self-Esteem Guide for Hopeless Losers.”

[The Webmaster Explains: Our lawyers are currently tied up battling lawsuits from a Seattle rock band called Dear Jon Letters, the United States Army, and the John Deere Corporation. Our non-licensed limited edition Dear Jon bobble heads have completely sold out.]


ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON:

Dear Jon,

Why do we consider fishing and hunting sports? Aren't those just basic hunter/gatherer skills? How come picking fruit or harvesting grain aren’t considered sports?

Sincerely,
Top picker


Dear Picker,

If you don’t think that picking fruit or harvesting grain are sports, you must be from the city. I am proud to report that for “most corn husked in an hour” my grandfather held the county record for many years.


ACTUAL LETTER TO DEAR JON:

Dear Jon,

Is it possible for a shy, "type B" person to become significantly more "type A" with effort, or are shy people forever stuck with their shyness? Similarly, can "type A" people become more "type B". Is it better to be an extrovert?

Signed,
Longtime Dork


Dear Ongti,

I think you have shuffled together a couple different decks of pop-psyche vocabulary cards. According to what I remember from an intro course I took in the eleventh grade with a Type A football coach, A and B do not distinguish between shyness and extroversion. A and B distinguish between Type A: “must be productive every minute and answer e-mail on my palm pilot even though I’m vacationing here at the rim of the Grand Canyon” and Type B: “Sorry I’m late for the fourth time this week. I was watching the dew dry on the miniature roses in my windowbox. You should have seen it, how the evaporation left just the tiniest hint of a spot on the petal, harder to see on the red ones than the white, and—yes sir, I’ll just be in my cubicle. Oh, one more thing: What’s the lunch plan today?”

(Note that I am not appending a symbol to the pop psyche designations "A" and "B". I once saw a commercial contrasting the two types and I don't recall any credit being given. If I am wrong, my apologies to the authors living or dead, but why aren't you as famous as your types? Do you expect us as Americans to look them up every time we want to talk about Type A and Type B?)

Type A introverts work 80 hour weeks and have nervous break-downs. Type A extroverts work 80 hour weeks and give everyone else nervous break-downs. Type B introverts are the best gauge of a company’s direction, because they “vote with their feet,” meaning, Type B introverts will never complain (except to their spouses, best friends and therapists), but the work they choose to make priority in their 40 hour, 0 Minute and .0001 second work-weeks will show whether they have internalized the corporate strategy and goals.

Type B extroverts can’t hold jobs because they lack the commitment to hard work that would otherwise atone for their inability to shut up.

From your letter I would guess that you are a Type B introvert, because you assume that to be shy is to be Type B, and you signed the letter “dork,” because you do not like yourself as a Type B introvert.

Our culture is sending mixed messages. On the one hand, work-a-holics (Type A) are praised and rewarded. On the other hand, self-help gurus are constantly telling people to slow down and leave their work at work and so on. Talkative people keep a party going on the one hand, but no person in the world is quite so profound as a quiet person who, when speaking up, is articulate and pointed.

In my opinion, a “dork” is someone who either talks out of turn (extrovert tendency) or refuses to speak up when it is necessary (introvert tendency). Another definition of a “dork” is one who works stupid instead of smart. Working stupid can mean working harder than necessary to complete the tasks as well as they can be done (Type A tendency), or it can mean exerting less effort than excellence requires (Type B tendency). Is is equally dorky to do either more or less than one’s best.

I know a lot of dorks, but they are still a small minority. I doubt that you are a dork.

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