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Sting Rings In!

Dr. Spin talks to a 'Sting Fan'

by Dr. Spin
January 12, 2004

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Sting Rings In!_Dr. Spin-Dr. Spin talks to a “Sting Fan” Dear Dr. Spin,
What is all the hype these days with "underground bands"??

-taylor.


Dear taylor,

‘Cuz they’re not part of the “corporation,” see? They’re like, beyond “the Man” and all his corporate controls trying to manufacture music for the masses like Soylent Green!

Um, actually, I have no idea what the hype on “underground bands” is. Do they only play in cellars? “Underground” and “alternative” are words that seem to be thrown around a lot these days. I guess the hype is not everyone has heard these “underground” bands, so if you know about them, you’re hip. I generally find out about bands after they’ve already peaked, so I don’t get the hype either.


Dear Dr. Spin,
Was Elton John's band during his initial reign at the top of the pops in the 70s (Nigel Olssen, Dee Murray, Davey Johnson) an all-gay combo? They're certainly looking a lot like Elton boy toys in those glossy cover shots. You could probably throw in lyricist Bernie Taupin as well.

The unrepentant homophobe


Dear UH,

For someone who is a homophobe, you sure seem to know a lot about Elton John. As far as I know, only Elton John was gay. In fact, I believe Elton had a crush on Bernie early on, and Bernie had to tell him he was engaged (to a woman). As far as the “look” of Elton’s back-up band, you have to remember, this was the early seventies, when glam rock was all the rage. Rather, I would say they were just following Elton’s lead. Look at David Bowie and his band during the Ziggy Stardust days. Bowie had to convince his band members that wearing make-up would actually attract women. Of course, it did, as women are for some strange reason drawn to gay (and gay-appearing) men. Perhaps it is because they’re neat dressers and willing to show their “sensitive” side. Whatever.

As a homophobe, I would not ponder on Elton John’s back-up band too much, if you know what I mean. Instead, I would focus on good butch bands like say, Queen.


Dear Dr. Spin,

Could you please talk about Sting and his contributions to international music?

Sincerely,
Sting Fan


Dear SF,

Um, ok. Sting has done a lot for international music, including the first collaboration between Arabic and English performers (“Desert Rose”).

Wait a minute... “Sting Fan?”... This isn’t like that commercial where everybody gets a message from “No. 1 Sting Fan” about his new video, and it turns out Sting himself is sending the message, is it? Sting? Sting, my man! No need to hide behind the “pseudonym!”

I loved your work with the Police, and Ten Summoner’s Tales is a classic! I also liked “Brand New Day.” Why did you name yourself after a sword from “Lord of the Rings?” Look Sting, I would love sit down and interview you for the PO sometime! Have your people contact my people. And don’t be such a stranger!

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